The Last Goodbye
by donnapie
Summary: Rachel and Finn. A match made in heaven, a love that only comes once in a lifetime and yet they had to part and it left them both heartbroken. Forward to 8 years and Finn is ready to get Rachel back.Will he succeed? Is love lovelier the 2nd time around?
1. Prologue

**Authors Note**

I have entitled each chapter of this fiction according to songs that would set the tone of what the theme of the chapter is gonna be like. The lyrics of the song for each part would also encompass the feelings of the characters more or less in that point of the story. I will beposting those along with a link of the song whenever i post each new chapter.

Just thought that i'd give fair warning to all that this story is going to be _**really, really angsty**_ but it will definitely have a Happy FinChel Ending..

If you want to be a part of my PM list so that i can message you whenever a new chapter is up, kindly add me as a friend and i would do just that.

_**Comments are LOVE! So i hope you'd find the time to leave a note!**_

Thanks and Happy Reading...

**Prologue**

**Rachel:** There you go again with your casual wave and your cheerful smile... Like everyday's a blast and that nothing is missing from your life... You open your car door as you gave me one last honk... I stood there in the almost empty parking lot with a smile in return as you back your car out of your slot like i'm having the time of my life... Like i am not pretending... like i've done for the past eight years of my life...

Do you ever think about me when you're alone? Of what could be? of dreams not realized? Do you ever wonder if we should have tried a little harder? a little better? A little longer?

I wonder if we'd be happier? Be bolder? Be stronger?

But that's all you left me... A future of what if's...

And as i watch your car get smaller and smaller as you drive away... my smile gets wider and wider...my face almost splitting... and only then did i feel the wetness of my cheeks as the tears that i've not cried, fell from my eyes...

**Finn:** There you go again... you're beautiful as always... Like you've truly found peace when i left and that nothing is missing from your life... You gave me a wide smile and a wave as i get inside my car and i took the time to watch you for awhile like i've done for countless number of times just like the past years of our lives...

Do you even know how that image of you is enough to last me for days? and that in my head sometimes i still pretend that you lie beside me in my bed? Though it hurts, it's better this way... you found your place and i found mine...

I wonder if you're happy? At peace? Enlightened?

But that's all i can do... ask about you and never get answers...

And as i back my car off my driveway... i watch you as you grow smaller and smaller... I let out a smile that quickly grew into laughter and only then did i realize... being without each other... we can finally stop with the lies...


	2. Someday

**Authors Note**

I have entitled each chapter of this fiction according to songs that would set the tone of what the theme of the chapter is gonna be like. The lyrics of the song for each part would also encompass the feelings of the characters more or less in that point of the story. I will be posting those along with a link of the song whenever i post each new chapter.

Just thought that i'd give fair warning to all that this story is going to be _**really, really angsty**_ but it will definitely have a Happy FinChel Ending..

If you want to be a part of my PM list so that i can message you whenever a new chapter is up, kindly add me as a friend and i would do just that.

_**Comments are LOVE! So i hope you'd find the time to leave a note!**_

Thanks and Happy Reading...

**SOMEDAY - SHINEDOWN**

_Someday, when I'm older__  
__And they never know my name__  
__Somehow, if I'm honest__  
__I can never feel ashamed__  
__Maybe I was wrong to__  
__Hold you up so high__  
__Now I know I've lost you__  
__To the feelings I kept inside___

_I don't know if it felt like__  
__I wanted you here, the way that I wanted you last time__  
__We're not on the same page, you don't even know me__  
__Cause you never took the time___

_Someday, when it's over__  
__And you never show your face__  
__I hope you'll remember__  
__How I tried to make you a place__  
__And so now, I move on__  
__To keep my piece of mind__  
__In someway, I've failed you__  
__But I just ran out of time___

_I don't know if it felt like__  
__I wanted you here, the way that I wanted you last time__  
__We're not on the same page, you don't even know me__  
__Cause you never took the time___

_I'm not sure that you hear me__  
__I'm not sure that you look at me the same__  
__I will always be attached to you__  
__But I'm never gonna feel the same___

_I don't know if it felt like__  
__I wanted you here, the way that I wanted you last time__  
__We're not on the same page, you don't even know me__  
__Cause you never took the time__  
__No, you never took the time___

_Someday, when I'm older..._

**Chapter One**

**Someday**

To say that the Rachel Berry of Broadway and Hollywood fame has changed tremendously from control freak Rachel Berry of Lima, Ohio is an understatement…

The minute that she stepped off her trailer and walked towards the studio where she's going to be shooting her MTV today, heads swiveled… time stood still… a silence permeating through the crowd as people turned to stop and stare knowing that they are in the presence of greatness…

A far cry definitely from the slushie facials that used to greet her whenever she walked the halls of McKinley when she was in high school and when getting solos in Glee club was the only high point of her day…

As she stopped to wave and smile at the gaggle of fans who have now managed to shake themselves out of the initial stupor of seeing her and who are now screaming her name as they press against the chain link fence separating them, Rachel caught a glance of her reflection against the glass double doors of the studio and just like always, there is still that moment which gives her pause when she thinks to herself who the girl is in that mirrored surface who is staring back at her…

Dressed in a simple black Balenciaga shift dress which she accessorized with deadly high Christian Louboutin heels and a black oversized Gucci sunglass that covered almost half of her face, Rachel was not even surprised when she heard a voice shout loudly from the crowd that she looked every inch the reincarnation of Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's…

A comparison that she might have expected but one that still managed to put a wry smile on her face as she thought how it is a description that people would never have associated with her if she was still the Rachel Berry of old…

The Rachel with the animal print sweaters and knee high argyle socks and the insecurity as vast as the sea who let herself believe that she would always have to be second best and that she has to always beg for someone to choose her over somebody prettier…

Someone a lot more popular…sexier…BLONDER…

Quickly stamping down at the familiar twinge in her heart that reminds her of things that she would rather forget and of a tall boy whom she despises with all her heart but whose smile also still haunts her… Rachel shakes herself out of her reverie as she gives one last wave to the crowd before pushing the doors leading towards the hustle and bustle of her workplace and of the life she has now made for herself…

The room was noisy and abuzz with activity… Production directors, wardrobe coordinators and her agent were all huddled together in front of a monitor while other crew members flit around like busy bees… Shouts were coming from the directors booth as test shots were taken of the set to ensure that everything's okay before the cameras start rolling… Like clockwork, a coffee cup was thrust into her hand by a gaffer before she was herded off to a dressing room whose doors bear a gold star with her name spelled prominently in the middle…Somehow it is the sight of that star with her name on it which once again brought back her feelings of self doubt as she stood staring at it fixatedly as if up to now she still can't believe that everything that's happening out there was really all about her…

Her…

Rachel Barbara Berry…

She made it to the big leagues and frankly she should not be scared but happy and yet there is still this dull, empty space inside her that seems to long for something that is unreachable…

Something that she knew very well but would rather not admit to herself as it is a regression of everything that she's made of herself and of everything which she's worked so damn hard these past eight years for…

"Aren't you going in?"

Rachel jerked in surprise as the humor filled voice of her personal assistant Chris, resounded behind her… A cheeky smile pasted on his face as he lifted an eyebrow at her as if asking what the hell she's doing standing outside when there is a perfectly comfortable room waiting for her inside…

Without even waiting for her answer, he put his hand above her head as he pushed open the door to the room…

Rachel says a mumbled "thanks" as she entered… Taking a seat at one of the plush sofas scattered around the tastefully decorated space nonchalantly as if she had not just been lost in her memories a couple of seconds ago and that Chris had not just caught her spacing out, staring at her door like an idiot …

Folding her feet underneath her and grabbing the remote to turn on the TV, Rachel took a sip of her coffee as she watched the familiar banter of Giuliana and Ryan light up the screen while her agent stood in front of her looking affronted…

"That's it? You're just going to sit there, watch TV and drink your coffee without asking me what I have in my hand right now? Gosh, Rach… I would have thought that my arrival today would warrant more excitement…"

He told her sarcastically…

Rachel raised her head from her coffee cup… her lips remaining pressed against the rim for a couple of seconds before she looked at him quizzically…

"I didn't even notice that you have something in your hand…"

She shrugged…

He looked at her disbelievingly for awhile before rolling his eyes in exasperation…

Rachel almost grinned at his antics as she thought how if there is a gay (and bitchier) version of herself among Hollywood PA's, Chris would definitely be it… He had always had the flair for dramatics that sometimes Rachel feels as if he is the one who should be doing the acting between the two of them instead of the other way…

Barely able to contain his excitement, he waved the thick sheaf of paper around in the air before taking a seat at the coffee table in front of Rachel as she continued to look at him weirdly…

"Rach… It's here! The script for your project with director Kathryn Bigelow… The one that would bring you an Oscar… that which will really cement your place as being in the A List… It's here!"

Rachel lets out a gasp and sat slack jawed as her assistant continued to ramble on… Barely pausing for breath as he gushed and swooned a mile a minute while his words just washed over her as she sat in shock barely understanding a word that he's saying…

"Forget everything that I said and all those silly fights that we've had about how stupid you've been signing on for this project without even seeing who the cast are or what the script is like just because the director is a HOLLYWOOD GOD-"

He uttered the last words sarcastically while making air quotation marks… Mimicking the starstruck way that Rachel had addressed the director and how she's raved all about her the first time she's met her…

"And your ABSOLUTE, ABSOLUTE favorite even if I am completely against it… You know that -"

As if suddenly getting back to her senses, Rachel grabs the script from her assistants hand without a word, making him pause mid sentence…

She began to flip through the papers with trembling fingers … The enormity of this career break that has been given to her at the age of 24 beginning to sink in as she quickly scanned through the Hollywood gold that is now in her hands and staring right back at her…

Without missing a beat, Chris picked up where he left off… Chattering on endlessly as if completely disregarding the fact that the girl before him was now lost in a world of her own and not even pretending to be listening

"IT IS AWESOME, I tell you Rach! AWESOME! It is about this country girl who has dreams of making it big in the city as a singer and how she struggled to be able to achieve all of those dreams and how that has changed her in so many ways… Goodness! I think Kathryn has really taken a liking to you because not only could the story have been your story but upon learning that your hometown was in Lima, she decided to shoot it in the same place … I do have some doubts though about your leading man because I heard that she casted a newbie from auditions she's held there…"

He made a face while Rachel's hands stilled, hearing that sentence… Her heart is pounding against her chest as she suddenly got this sinking feeling inside her chest while her instincts scream at her that something bad will happen at any given minute…

Densely, her assistant continued to ramble on as he remained oblivious to the turmoil going on inside Rachel's head…

"She says that doing the film in Lima will give the film a touch of umm - what did she call it? Authenticity…"

He snapped his fingers as he remembered the word

"And that it will also help hone your acting skills because you'd be drawing on familiar experiences…"

He shrugged his shoulders

"Oh well… I heard anyways, that the guy she casted was pretty good … A little old maybe to start in the business but he seems really promising… Fits the role to a T… Name of -"

He paused and closed his eyes as if trying hard to remember…

"Jim… no… Fitz… that's not it either… hmmm… AH! Finn! FINN HUDSON! That's it!"

He exclaimed excitedly…

And even if she's gone pale, Rachel already knew deep inside of her that it was him even before she heard his name…

Of all the stupid things to do…She could have killed herself right at this very minute for being such a know it all and not listening to her agent and Chris when they asked her if she was sure that she'd sign on to this project without even seeing the script or the cast just because she got excited at the thought of having a multi awarded director and scriptwriter heading the film …

Oh no… She just had to be her pushy self and just like how she has always insisted on doing things her way, she had to let her stubborn streak take over and look where it got her…

She knows that she's screwed if she decides to drop this project… She has no doubt that rumors will start that just because she's now starting to make a name for herself she is turning into a diva…

Not only that but in this industry, a newbie turning down a project that she has already signed on for especially with an Alist award winning director and a big league studio was something akin to committing career suicide… If she indeed does that, nobody will touch her even with a ten foot pole and once again she will be outside the circle and treated just like a pariah…

Just like how it was when she was in High School…

She lets out a small shudder at just the thought of that…

She has no choice.

How can she have let her guard down for one minute? She knows she's better than this… She's not immature nor gullible enough to just sign anything just because it's given to her…

That's the Rachel Berry of old… and she has definitely outgrown her

As Rachel ponders whether she'd fly to the South Pole or hide under her bed in order to avoid this movie like it was the plague… the television set blasted out a report that caused her to jerk upright from her seat… her whole body rigid and unbending as if disbelieving that her very problem is now being aired publicly… She wanted to just turn the TV off and pretend that nothing's happening… but like a deer caught in headlights, she remained frozen… still…letting the news that she's been dreading wash up all over her…

"_After much anticipation and her Oscar win for the Hurt Locker, Director Kathryn Bigelow has announced her next project entitled Country Roads and it stars none other than rising star and Broadway Favorite, Rachel Berry… However, the surprise does not lie in Ms. Berry's casting for this movie but rather in the fact that Kathryn announced that the film would be shot partly in Ms. Berry's hometown of Lima, Ohio and that the leading man for this project is Lima native who before this was previously unknown to Hollywood, Finn Hudson…_

_Having only had the experience of starring in several small plays in Ohio's community theater scene and being a DJ/Host for Rockeoke nights at Breadstix part time… Many are envious of the stroke of good luck that has befallen into full time mechanic Mr. Hudson's lap all of a sudden…_

_However, seeing how his auditions have won the hearts of the panel and how it has now become a youtube sensation…"_

YOUTUBE sensation?

Dammit! Rachel thought to herself… How could she have missed THAT?

If only she would have been online more often then she probably won't be in this predicament that is threatening to be the death of her right at this very minute…

"_- Not only does this 6 foot 3 cutie possess a smile that can turn girls knees into water, many are anticipating his breakout into the big screen and of seeing Rachel and him play beautiful music as lovers together… "_

Rachel stared fixatedly at the screen as the scene cut to a shot of Finn being interviewed…

And it was as if she was transported back in time…

After eight years of not seeing him and only drawing on her memories of what he looked like, there he was…

FINN…

And he was still every bit that she's remembered…

He looked the same only a little more muscular… a little more good looking… a little bit more manly… the man whom she loved with all her heart… The man who taught her how to love but who also gave her a definition of what heartbreak meant… The man who let her down and who gave her the greatest pain she's ever known… The man who made her believe that he'd never leave her only to do just that at the very end…

And now she will be meeting him once again and putting all the resolutions that she's made about forgetting him to the test…

As she stared at the screen to look at the face of the man whom she loved so very much a long time ago and as Chris exclaims in the background how if his mechanic looks like that he can fix his engine anytime, Rachel uttered a silent prayer that she can remain strong and treat her upcoming project with him as just a job … A job that she would be professional about because that's what she does best…

She had forgotten him and is long over him…

There's no cause for worry…

There isn't …

"Yes Rachel… You can do it… just like how you motivated yourself by looking at that golden star everyday to forget him to achieve your dreams and how you've made it… you can do this too…"

She muttered to herself… trying to convince herself that this cruel joke of fate did not really matter…

That she can see him everyday and make people believe that he is a stranger and that just seeing him does not still make her heart ache like it's being stabbed by a thousand daggers…

She will work on this movie, give it her damnedest best and at the end of it, she'd wish him luck, shake his hand with a bright smile on her face and move on just like what she does in any of her other projects…

She can do this…

Yes she can…

Instinctively, she raised her hand towards her neck… rubbing at that empty patch of skin subconsciously where once upon a time, a long time ago, she wore her heart and showed it to the world and it was in the form of a four lettered name…

HIS…


	3. Fking Perfect

**Authors Note**

I have entitled each chapter of this fiction according to songs that would set the tone of what the theme of the chapter is gonna be like. The lyrics of the song for each part would also encompass the feelings of the characters more or less in that point of the story. I will beposting those along with a link of the song whenever i post each new chapter.

Just thought that i'd give fair warning to all that this story is going to be _**really, really angsty**_ but it will definitely have a Happy FinChel Ending..

If you want to be a part of my PM list so that i can message you whenever a new chapter is up, kindly add me as a friend and i would do just that.

_**Comments are LOVE! So i hope you'd find the time to leave a note!**_

Thanks and Happy Reading...

**F**kin' Perfect - Travis Garland**

_I know how you feel inside__  
__You're in love and so am I__  
__But you're with some other guy__  
__I should be the one by your side__  
__He cheated made you feel no good__  
__I, told you that he would__  
__I, knew he'd make you cry___

_You're broken__  
__Let me make it better__  
__Glue you back together__  
__Just give me a try___

_Oooh,__  
__Pretty, Pretty Please__  
__Don't you ever ever feel__  
__Like you're less than f**king perfect__  
__If you get with me__  
__I won't ever make you feel__  
__Any less than__  
__F**king perfect__  
__(You'll see)___

_At his house you found her clothes__  
__Tried to play you and say who's are those?__  
__He's so stupid.__  
__Here's how I know__  
__What kind of genius would let perfection go___

_He's conceited__  
__Only bout himself__  
__He loves nobody else__  
__He ain't even fly___

_You're broken__  
__Let me make it better__  
__Glue you back together__  
__Just give me a try___

_Ooh__  
__Pretty pretty please__  
__Don't you ever ever feel__  
__Any less than__  
__F**king perfect__  
__If you get with me__  
__I won't ever make you feel__  
__Any less than__  
__F**king perfect__  
__(You'll see)___

_It's gonna take time to heal that hole (he left)__  
__Exactly how long I don't know but__  
__You got pain and I know a remedy__  
__You gotta start kickin' with someone like me__  
__Now you're over- analyzing all your thoughts__  
__Start thinking it was all your fault__  
__But baby girl don't you go and blame yourself__  
__Cause hes just a douchebag__  
__he's just a douchebag___

_I was hoping__  
__You'd let me replace him__  
__I would straight erase him__  
__Right out of your mind___

_Pretty pretty please__  
__Don't you ever ever feel__  
__Like you're less than__  
__F**king Perfect__  
__If you get with me__  
__I wont ever make you feel__  
__Any less than__  
__F**king perfect___

_Pretty Pretty Please__  
__Don't you ever ever feel__  
__Like you're less than__  
__F**king Perfect__  
__If you get with me__  
__I wont ever make you feel__  
__Any less than__  
__F**king Perfect_

**Chapter Two**

**F**kin' Perfect**

It had been an awfully long day for Rachel… she had three interviews, did a photoshoot for a magazine and still went on David Letterman right after…Not that she was complaining…

Far from it…

Truth be told she was kinda counting on that feeling of tiredness to overwhelm her…Just enough so that she won't be able to think straight and perhaps then, she can forget the fact that 2 days from now, she will be going back to Lima and all the shit that comes with it thereafter…

Massaging the bridge of her nose and sighing frustratedly, she stopped pacing long enough on her living room floor to face the huge windows of her Park Avenue apartment…Calming herself down and drawing strength from the words of her yoga instructor, she closed her eyes almost violently as she tried to find the peace and serenity that she's been yearning for by tapping into her inner zen and finding her center…

She had barely even gone there (and heaven knows that she is only kidding herself that she'd even get there with the mood she's in) when her concentration was broken by a hand sneakily making its way around her waist as she was enveloped into a tight back hug …

Rachel opened her eyes in surprise to fumble for the baseball bat that she keeps handy nearby as contingency for instances like these… However, the owner of those hands cancelled that need when he made his identity known by whispering sexily into her ear…

"Boo!"

She whipped her head around only to meet his smiling blue eyes staring back at her… His curly hair falling against his forehead as he grinned boyishly at her…

"How'd you get in?"

She said accusingly…

"Nice… real nice Berry… after all the effort I went through just to get in unnoticed, you could have shown a little more excitement than how'd you get in when you saw me…"

Jesse gives her waist one last squeeze before kissing the side of her neck and removing his arms from around her… The glint of mischief was still in his eyes… His eyebrows raised in question as he looked at Rachel and immediately, he knew that she is once again in one of her moods given that she was quiet and she just responded to his teasing by shrugging her shoulders…

As he continued to look at her and saw how worried she really seemed, the smile slowly disappeared from Jesse's face to be replaced with one of concern… Slowly, it began to dawn on him that maybe, just maybe, she is REALLY upset and not just in one of her drama queen moments…

"C'mon Rach… spill the beans… what's bugging you?"

Rachel looked at him for awhile as if to say something… In the end she only shook her head as if changing her mind before mumbling a soft "nothing" …

Jesse stares at her… His eyes remaining fixed on her face as if trying to read what's on her mind although he knows that it would take a lot more than that to get her to say anything…

The Rachel he knows now barely shares her innermost thoughts without insistent prodding… A far cry from the Rachel before who would immediately regale you with unwanted comments and who would fire off inanities one after another…

"Just… tired… I guess…"

She replied after much thinking, leaving no doubt in his mind that she is once again giving him bullshit answers instead of really telling him how she's really feeling…

Jesse lets out a sigh… putting his hands on her shoulders and bending down so that they were at eye level before pushing up her chin gently so that her gaze could meet his…

"Look at me… I know when something's bothering you…"

As Rachel remained quiet… Jesse tried to coax her out of the funk she was in by teasing her… Hoping against hope that that would be enough to make her crack that smile that drives him just a teeny weeny bit crazy and perhaps then she would burst his eardrums again with her non stop chatter and incessant stories…

"Was it your yearbook picture that they showed on Insider? The rumors flying about that Jennifer Damiano is the one being considered for the Broadway remake of Funny Girl and not you? ..."

He paused for a beat when she lowered her eyes…She scuffed her bare toe against the carpet and looked at it as if it was most fascinating… He knew that this time, no matter how much he charms her, she won't tell him anything unless he quits beating around the bush and ask her the real question that he's been longing to ask ever since he learnt of her new project…

"Is it- going back to - Lima?"

There it was… He's said it… it was out in the open… The loaded question that is a more subtle way of asking if it was seeing Finn again that was really the problem…

Jesse's eyes cloud over when she visibly stiffens…

His smile faltering a little…

There goes his answer…

He'd like to pretend that it doesn't affect him but the truth is he wants to hold her against him and never even let her get on that plane because he is scared shitless…

"And what - what makes you think that that is what I was thinking about?"

Rachel replied defensively… Giving a toss of her hair perhaps to make it appear that she couldn't care less but truth of the matter is it just makes her look more guilty…

"Because…"

Jesse shrugs… wanting to tell her that it's the same thing that has been on his mind too these past couple of days but not really having the courage to…

"Because?"

Rachel raises her eyebrow at Jesse questioningly…

"C'mon Rach… I've known you since forever and we've been dating for two years… … I think I know you well enough to know when something's on your mind…"

Rachel waves her hand nonchalantly... as if the matter is not so important when the reality was it had been giving her sleepless nights ever since she first learnt about Lima - and Finn…

" I just don't know if I should have accepted this movie… that's all… "

Jesse smiles at her before hugging her tight against him… He rubbed his hand against her back comfortingly as he immersed himself into her familiar scent… She smelt of strawberries and shampoo and everything that he now holds dear… She has wormed her way into his heart without him even knowing about it and perhaps even during the time when he betrayed her and cracked an egg against her head, he already knew that he can't live without her…

New York was a very small place… Broadway, smaller even… Even during those years when he was in LA and she was still stuck in Lima, he had no doubt in his mind that there will be a time when they will cross paths again…

He had been praying for it…

Wishing for it…

Willing it…

And when it finally happened and she was casted as the Maria to his Tony in West Side Story, he swore to himself that he would make it up to her…

He will replace all those months of lying and scheming with honesty and goodness… He will cherish her and love her the way that he'd wanted to love her ever since he realized that he wants to be with her not just because of Vocal Adrenaline and Shelby, but because that was what his heart really wanted…

It took him a long time to convince her that this time it was for real…

Somehow, she was more aloof, more guarded… But he persevered and worked hard so that she'd know that he loves her simply because he loves her…

No hidden agendas…

All his cards laid out on the table…

He would accept any bone that she'd throw his way even if it meant that he'd go along with her decision to date but not really get into a serious commitment…

The tables have turned…

He is now the one that's chasing after her…

At her beck and call and waiting for the day when she'd change her mind and commit herself fully to him so that he'd be known as her husband or her fiancee' …

Heck! He'd go with even just a boyfriend…

He would take any god damn title rather than "close friend" or "the person she's seeing" which is how she introduces him to everyone and how everyone calls him…

"You can still change your mind… It's not too late…"

He said half jokingly although there was a hint of seriousness to his voice…

Rachel looked at him sharply as if what he's saying was the silliest thing that she's ever heard…

"What I meant was you're perfectly okay in Broadway… why bother to break through into the mainstream? People know you already anyway… You're okay even without this movie… You have a great career, a fabulous life… Wonderful, wonderful me…"

Jesse looked at her and was pleased to see that there was now a hint of a smile playing around her lips… He breathed a sigh of relief before continuing further…

"We can manage even without the millions that they'd pay you…"

Rachel laughs at that… rolling her eyes sarcastically before giving him a playful slap and pushing herself away from his embrace…

"Yeah right… and risk the litigation that comes with it…"

She shouted off as she walked towards the kitchen… Jesse's eyes following her as she subtly puts some distance once again between the two of them…

With as much bravado as he can come up with, Jesse clears his throat and takes in a deep breath before asking her the killer question…

"Does the thought of seeing him still bother you?"

He asked softly… His voice barely audible as the question was greeted with a tension filled silence…

He saw Rachel freeze from pouring her water on the kitchen counter when she heard him…

The façade that she's putting on dropping only for a second to show the vulnerability hidden behind her eyes as she probably remembered the boy who continues to push him out of her heart to this very day…

"You know I trust you right? And that I love you?"

Rachel drinks her water, not even giving a hint if she heard him before flashing him a smile that he knows is only reserved for when she gives out scripted answers to interviewers or when she's being photographed by paparazzis…

"God! I'm starvinggggg… Have you eaten?"

Jesse remains quiet for a few seconds… Obviously affected by her non-answer and wanting to just crawl inside her head or her heart just to see where he really stands with her…

But this is his choice…She's been honest to him from the very beginning… too honest perhaps that sometimes he can't help but get hurt or feel as if she's slowly breaking his heart into a million tiny pieces…

With sheer willpower, he pretends along with Rachel and lets out a smile that he had perfected… the one that's guaranteed to make his fans swoon whenever he flashes it onstage… the one that's tried and tested to sell magazine covers…

"Not yet… Perhaps this gorgeous actor can take you to a late… "

He checked his watch…

"VERY late dinner…"

Rachel smiled her first genuine smile of the night… Grateful that he did not push the issue any further and that he is giving her the space that she really craves…

"I see the actor… but where's the gorgeous?"

She said teasingly… Taking considerable care to give her outmost effort in order to play along with the mood that Jesse tried so hard to create…

"Ahhh… "

Jesse clutches his heart and staggers towards the couch as if he's been physically hurt…

"You're killing me… "

He drops to the couch and pretends to play dead… although in his mind a lot of serious thoughts remain unspoken… unasked… and it would remain that way until he gets the courage to hear her answers when he says them out loud and she gives him words that are not the ones he want to hear again …

Rachel laughs…

"You are really in the right profession you know? Such a drama queen!"

Jesse looks at Rachel… All thoughts of sadness gone as he looked at her sparkling eyes and her flushed cheeks while she giggles out loud with genuine mirth…

"C'mon… get moving… this drama queen is taking you to dinner"

He pushes her towards her bedroom door and she sticks her tongue out at him sassily… blowing him a kiss before sauntering off towards the half opened doorway…

…and as Jesse stares at her back and remembers how she looked before she turned and how she sounded at that very moment, somehow he knew that despite the pain… as long as he has moments like these… everything will be worth it…


	4. Tonight

_**Authors Note: Please, please review if you liked this story… It would help me decide if I should continue on with it… **_

**Tonight - FM Static**

_I remember the times we spent together__  
__on those drives__  
__We had a million questions__  
__all about our lives__  
__and when we got to New York__  
__everything felt right__  
__I wish you were here with me__  
__tonight_

_I remember the days we spent together__  
__were not enough__  
__and it used to feel like dreamin'__  
__except we always woke up__  
__Never thought not having you__  
__here now would hurt so much_

_Tonight I've__fallen__and I can't get up__  
__I need your loving hands to come and pick me up__  
__And every night I miss you__  
__I can just look up__  
__and know the stars are__  
__holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight_

_I remember the time you told me about when you were eight__  
__And all those things you said that night that just couldn't wait__  
__I remember the car you were last seen in__  
__and the games we would play__  
__All the times we spilled our coffees__  
__and stayed out way too late__  
__I remember the time you told me about your Jesus__  
__and how not to look back even if__no one__believes us__  
__When it hurt so bad sometimes__  
__not having you here..._

_I sing,__  
__Tonight I've__fallen__and I can't get up__  
__I need your loving hands to come and pick me up__  
__And every night I miss you__  
__I can just look up__  
__and know the stars are__  
__holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight_

_I sing,__  
__Tonight I've__fallen__and I can't get up__  
__I need your loving hands to come and pick me up__  
__And every night I miss you__  
__I can just look up__  
__and know the stars are__  
__holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight_

**Chapter Three**

**Tonight**

After eight years of waiting, he can't believe it's finally here…

After all the long, lonely days and the cold, empty nights that he spent awake imagining he was next to her and after all the time he spent wishing he could turn back the clock so that he can erase the stupidest decision he's ever made…

Today is the big day…

He's finally seeing Rachel again…

And he can't fucking wait…

As Finn drove his truck and the familiar landscape of Lima roll pass his open window, he can't help but reminisce about the last time he saw Rachel and how she had cried her heart out as if it would be the death of her…

He can still recall how he felt as if he'd also burst into tears and cry like a pussy the moment she turned her back on him and took that first step away from him knowing that that time it really WAS goodbye…

He remembered how he immediately wished that he could have taken back everything he said about choosing Quinn and everything he did…But in the end, he didn't…

He let his stupid pride and the stupid image that he wanted to uphold get the best of him and once it was all over, that's all that really mattered…

THAT HE DIDN'T…

He chickened out… and in the process he lost the only girl that he ever loved with all his heart…

And now it was eight years after…

Ninety six months too long and a lot of days too late…

But despite the passing of time and despite the fact that he has not seen her, he can still vividly feel how her hand felt clasped against his or how a look from her soulful brown eyes can make his heart flutter…

Thank goodness she went into show business…

Finn almost smiled to himself just thinking how he would have gone crazy if he didn't have the guilty pleasure of seeing her face even if it was just through the TV screen or through the newspaper…

He had followed her career rabidly…

Obsessively even…

He had not missed a single TV show that she's been on, or missed an album that she has released or not bought a magazine where she was inside or on the cover…

There were a lot of times when he would imagine that she's laughing for him when she would giggle at something that an interviewer asks when she's on TV or that she's singing for him when she'd sing live in one of those talk shows or during the Tony's…

He would smile to himself picturing how she will seek his advise if they were still together and how her obsessive compulsiveness will drive her nuts with worry just thinking if "Papa Can You Hear Me" is the right song to sing for Tonight with Jay Leno or if maybe the audience would prefer the more powerful tones of "Don't Cry For Me Argentina"…

…And every single time that she earn rave reviews or when she's being honored at some banquet or another, his heart can't help but swell with pride knowing that she's doing what she's meant to do rather than doing a menial job, perhaps teaching voice, if she was stuck in loserville Lima…

During those times, he thinks to himself that maybe just maybe, he didn't make such a bad decision choosing Quinn and that maybe there is still some good in that day which was the worst of his life…

It seemed like a dream to him now that they're meeting again… meeting at a time and place that may be not in the most ideal of circumstances but still, he is grateful to Kurt and his Hollywood connections for giving him the inside scoop when they were looking for Rachel's leading man for her first movie that is going to be shot in Lima no less…

Despite his inhibitions and the fact that he was scared out of his goddamn wits about making a fool out of himself in front of all those city folks during auditions, he knew that he would gladly give his arm and leg to do it all over again if that was the only way left for him to be able to see her again…

And he gave it his all…

His best…

Because he was that desperate to just even get a glimpse of her…

To be honest, he had long known even before the moment that Quinn left him for a traveling pharmaceutical salesman that he would never feel for her the way that he did for Rachel…

Truth be told, he had known it from the very beginning…

He just didn't have the guts to admit to himself how he fell hard for a girl who was at the bottom of the social pyramid rather than the girl that everyone expects him to be with…

Not one time too many was he tempted after Quinn and him broke up to go to New York and see her or call her out of the blue but really… what will he say?

That he was a douche bag and that he is begging on his hands and knees so that she'd take him back again and maybe they can start all over?

Like that would be enough…

Like it would make up for how badly he's hurt her…

Like she would have time for a small time hick like him when she is now a star that is adored by many…

At the time when he left her, his reasons sounded convincing… his machismo the be all and end all of everything and his pride and jealousy the only thing that mattered…

But now that he's older, he laughs humorlessly at how immature and shallow those reasons really are and how he is now reaping the bad karma of being a class A jerk…

She poured her heart out to him in that song…

That song that made him tear up and twisted his heart like it was being put into the wringer…

But she wouldn't even know…

How would she? When he avoided her after they won Regionals not because he didn't want to see her but because she's giving him all of these confusing feelings and he needed time to clear his head and he needed space to think about what really is up between him and Quinn…

Dammit! Quinn made him see fireworks and that ought to count for something…

So how was it that she can make him see stars and a lifetime of happiness spent together?

However, everything changed the moment that they lost Nationals in New York…

She was so goddamn heartbroken that he can't help himself from looking for her and going to her room so that he can give her comfort and tell her that it was not the end of the world…

But then they got to talking about her song and feelings and the memories that they shared together and then one thing led to another and before he knew it, they were making love…

She looked at him with such hopeful and loving eyes when it was over and he felt something stir inside his chest that was so overpowering and overwhelming that it scared the crap out of him…

He left her there in a rush without saying a word… Grabbing his clothes as if he was being chased by the hounds of hell while she shouted out his name and looked at him with an expression like he had just punched her in the face…

The moment that they got back to Lima, fucked up asshole that he is, he paraded around the school with Quinn on his arm, at prom no less, and announced that they were official…

He can still picture Rachel's face as she walked out of the gym in a daze…

She was waiting for him at his locker three days after…

She was angry as hell and she was shouting as she called him out for all his shit and how all she wanted was for him to just once stand up for her and to be honest about his feelings…

But then he saw Santana smirking at him while mouthing the word loser and he pictured the last year of his high school life taking slushie baths and being treated as an outcast and losing all the respect of his football team members and in the end, he lost his balls…

At 16, that reason sounds so logical and convincing…

But now at 24, he hears himself and he can't help but think how incredibly, incredibly lame-ass of an excuse that really was…

He told her that Quinn was his first love and they belong together and that even if they tried… HARD… and again and again… it will just always end up the same way and never work out between them…

She looked stunned for awhile and then she gave out a little smile that didn't quite reach her eyes…

"This is just like the time when you wanted to be a rockstar… "

She said softly almost to herself as if it was only beginning to sink in on her…

"You're right… It's hello all over again…"

She whispered softly as if almost thinking to herself before meeting his eyes …

"Tell me… did you even really love me? Was I right in telling Quinn not to disregard what we have because you chose me that time and that it was real between us?"

He averted his gaze, his stare falling on Quinn who was just waylaid by Brittany in the corner of the hallway and he closed his eyes as he whispered "No…"

He felt his fingernails digging into his palms as it cut into his skin the instance that he told her the biggest lie of his life…

And that was when she burst into tears… Her shoulders heaving with heavy sobs as she ran away from him and walked out of his life…

The next thing he knew, she dropped out of school and Kurt told him that it was because she is transferring to an Arts High school in New York and that she's starting her Broadway journey earlier than planned…

If he only knew…

As his truck reaches the driveway of the only 3 star hotel in Lima where their first meeting would be held, Finn can only hope and pray that she would give him the chance to explain himself and that she can give him the chance to just even be her friend again…

He gave out a sarcastic laugh at that…

Who is he fuckin' kidding?

He'd rather that she treats him as a stranger rather than if she'd tell him that they can "just be friends"…

Giving one last glance at himself in his rearview mirror and tugging on the collar of his suit that is threatening to suffocate him, Finn alighted from his truck and threw his keys to the valet…

He was just about to turn around to enter the hotel when his attention was drawn to the far end of the driveway where he saw a familiar figure alighting from a parked Mercedes Benz…

And just like a dream, there she was…

He felt the wind knocked out of him because of the longing he felt when he saw her face…

It was threatening to consume him… his heart drumming heavily against his chest that he hears it pounding against his ears…

He had imagined her so many times over and over in his head during the course of the time that they were apart…

He looked at her pictures not one too many times…

He read about her and everything that she's done…

But nothing beats this…

Nothing beats the Rachel that is flesh and blood…

He was mesmerized…

Hypnotized…

As still as a statue on the other side of the driveway just staring at her…

It's as if time stood still and he imagined himself once again standing against the open doorway of his locker while she walked towards him hugging her books, wearing her dress with her white stockings and a wide smile that she smiles only for him…

However this Rachel doest not look at him with lovesick puppy eyes… She barely even knows he's standing there…

She exudes the aura of a moviestar… She was in tattered jeans, a white shirt and an oversized sweater… Her face devoid of make up and her hair tied away from her face…He saw her assistant whisper something to her and she's got this somber and serious expression on her face… He must have said something funny after that though because she lets out a small smile and it was followed by her infectious laughter…

She looked more matured… More sure of herself… More guarded…

Finn thought she looked so different and yet she is still in some ways, HIS Rachel…

But no matter what transformation she might have went through, to Finn one thing still has not changed…

To him, he is still the most beautiful woman that he has ever seen…

Finn stood frozen in place as Rachel draws nearer… She continues to walk towards the entrance, engrossed in conversation and she bumps into him and he steadies her a little after she ran into his shoulder…

"I'm sor-"

She looked up at him then and Rachel's mouth opens slightly in surprise when she saw who he was…

Her eyes blinking a couple of times as if disbelieving that he is really right in front of her…

Finn felt himself growing red in the cheeks as he gives Rachel that half smile that does all kinds of things to her stomach…

So… he still has the power to do that… she thought… He still has the power to send shockwaves through her body even if she had braced herself not to feel that way anymore…

_It is just the surprise of seeing each other for the first time… I'd get used to him too…_

She recited the line in her head over and over… trying to convince herself that this is a one off happening that would not be repeated anymore...

Keeping herself in check, Rachel pasted on a fake smile as she extended her hand towards Finn…

"H-Hi! Hi! You must be Finn!"

She said a little too loudly, sounding forced even to her ears as Finn frowned at her…

Why is she treating him like she's met him for the first time? Like she doesn't know him? Like he is no different from a stranger…

Like he's someone not important…

Fuck, it seems like he got his wish and he cursed at his luck because he really shouldn't have said that earlier…

"Rach…"

He said her name tenderly… all the longing and love for her that he's kept bottled up inside of him for all these years contained in that one single syllable…

Rachel's smile falters… She forcefully grabs his hand to give it a limpid shake as she ignored the feeling of warmth that suddenly envelops her…

"Nice meeting you… I'd - I'd - see you inside okay?"

Chris looks at her as if she's been possessed…

Finn looks at her still frozen in the same place where she left him while she continued to walk and laugh at something that Chris said which truth be told, was totally unfunny…

Her assistant looks at her quizzically and she enters the building looking like she doesn't have a care in the world…

But as she pushed her hair away from her face, there was a slight tremor in her hands that betrayed the true state of her feelings…

The moment that she got into the elevators, Rachel utters a silent prayer that she be granted the strength to get through this movie…

Hell, even just to get through this day and in return, she will give up anything…

Even being a vegan if that is what it takes…


	5. The Memory

**THE MEMORY**

_She is everywhere I go_  
_Everyone I see_  
_Winter's gone and I still can't sleep_  
_Summer's on the way_  
_At least that's what they say_  
_But these clouds won't leave_

_Walk away_  
_Barely breathing_  
_As I'm lying on the floor_  
_Take my heart_  
_As you're leaving_  
_I don't need it anymore_

_This is the memory_  
_This is the curse of having_  
_Too much time to think about it_  
_It's killing me_  
_This is the last time_  
_This is my forgiveness_  
_This is endless_

_Now spring has brought the rain_  
_But I still see your face_  
_And I can not escape the past_  
_Creeping up inside_  
_Reminding me that I_  
_Can never bring you back_

_This is the memory_  
_This is the curse of having_  
_Too much time to think about it_  
_It's killing me_  
_This is the last time_  
_This is my forgiveness_  
_This is endless_

_This is endless_  
_This is endless_  
_This is endless_  
_Someone help me_  
_Cuz the memory_  
_Convinced itself to tear me apart_  
_And it's gonna succeed before long_

_This is the memory_  
_This is the curse of having_  
_Too much time to think about it_  
_It's killing me_  
_This is the last time_  
_This is my forgiveness_  
_This is endless_  
_This is endless_

_Someone help me_  
_Cuz the memory_  
_Convinced itself to tear me apart_  
_And it's gonna succeed before long_  
_(This is endless)_

_She is everywhere I go_  
_Everyone I see_  
_But these clouds won't leave_

**Chapter Four**

**The Memory**

If only Rachel had a penny for every single time that she feels Finn's eyes staring at her, she swears, she'd be a freaking millionaire…

She hates this…

Hates being around him…

And she wished that this whole shit was over and that she is back in New York where everything was familiar and busy and … safe…

She shifted around her seat uncomfortably for the hundredth time…

Trying her damnedest best to keep her face hidden from him and to keep the wide smile that's pasted on her lips in the hopes that it would make her look confident but it only succeeded in making her cheeks hurt and her mouth quiver…

Sighing imperceptibly, she puts on her game face and furrowed her brow in concentration… Focusing all her attention instead on what Brad, their scriptwriter had been talking about for hours instead of the fact that Finn is just right across from her and that he is burrowing holes unto the back of her head …

Fat lot of good that that did her…

The man could have been speaking Klingon for all she cared because no matter how hard she tries, she still can't understand a single, damn thing that's coming out of his mouth…

All that she's aware of is Finn…

Finn who was close enough that she can feel his warmth and Finn who is now looking at her with a lopsided (swoon inducing) smile after she raised her hand smartly because she wanted to ask the director if she got her neatly highlighted notes correctly…

Fuck…

So what if he looks? She's not 16 anymore…

She had stopped reading something more into gestures like that ever since he broke her heart because truth be told, it was what she pinned her hopes on regarding how he feels for her all those years ago…

Because she thought that when he looks at her that way it meant that he misses her and loves her…

That he wants nothing more than to be with her…

Well… turned out that she was wrong…

Psyching herself to think instead of how she would never be caught dead being so unprofessional so as to not to listen in a work related meeting, Rachel straightens her back and scoots her seat a little further not just so she can hear better but also to create some distance between her and the man whose presence behind her was driving her just a little bit crazy …

However, she made the mistake of lifting her head and in the process, that's when their eyes met and then it happened…

She could almost feel herself getting electrified as he pinned his gaze on hers and as his chocolate brown eyes met her soulful hazel ones …

If before he was at least trying to be subtle, now he was staring at her boldly…

Blatantly…

Not even pretending that he had just accidentally glanced her way but as if posing a challenge to her to call him out for looking at her this entire time…

She felt herself redden…

A blush creeping its way from the base of her neck up to the apples of her cheeks…

A fact that did not escape him because once again, she saw him hide a little smile like she had just flashed him a boob or something…

She felt her temper rising…

How dare him think that he was such a stud?

Sure, he might have those eyes that she can drown in and those lips that make her want to jump him, but if at all, he just looks stupid…

(And if she will only listen to that little voice at the back of her head… yeah, really… as in REALLY good looking)

If anything, he should be the one getting all hot and bothered over her presence and not the other way around…

Beating him at his own game, Rachel took a sip from her mineral water bottle even if she's not thirsty before licking her lips slowly and touching her fingers seductively over them…

She got the satisfaction of seeing the smile immediately disappear from his face as he straightened up and his mouth drop open…

Looks like those seduction techniques she learnt in her Broadway workshops are working…

She thought smugly…

"…so in this scene Finn, you will be playing the drums and - Finn? Finn?"

Brad's voice cut through Rachel's internal monologue as he looked at Finn weirdly who was still staring at Rachel like he was in a trance…

"Yeah- Yeah..."

It took Finn a couple of seconds before he can turn his head towards Brad and pull his gaze away from Rachel…

Watching him, it took all of her sheer willpower not to smile and to stop herself from dissolving into a fit of giggling…

Finn stopped himself from groaning out loud as he noticed her struggling to keep a straight face…

_Great! _

_Great job Hudson… Really cool… _

He scolded himself…

He had been trying his damnedest best these past three hours just to be on his best sophisticated behavior and yet just being in her presence is enough to make him make an ass out of himself…

Good thing she has not slapped him yet with a restraining order because no matter how hard he tries, he can't stop looking at her with moony eyes and behaving creepily like some crazy stalker…

He finds everything she does cute…

and familiar…

The way her hands shoot straight up whenever she has a question or the way she fanatically takes down notes of everything and anything that Brad was saying…

She might have changed in terms of the way she dresses or how she is now a bit more calm and quiet but deep inside he'd like to believe that she is still the same old Rachel…

However, the way she licked her lips so slowly…

Nowwwww… that's something new…

And now he has a hard on and it's all her goddamn fault…

Brad's chuckles drew him out of his (filthy) thoughts as he stared first at him and then at Rachel…There was a teasing look in the writers eyes as they both looked at him curiously before exchanging nervous glances as they think to themselves what he suddenly finds so funny…

"Okay Finn…"

He said mischievously…

"Looking at the star struck way you keep on looking at Rachel, I know when I'm not needed… So why don't we take a break and I'll leave you two alone for awhile so that you can also get the chance to know each other better…"

Rachel looked at Brad with a panicked expression on her face… She looked at him with a silent plea in her eyes so that he would stay because alarm bells were already ringing in her head just at the thought of being alone with Finn…

However, even before she can get out a word of protest, Brad was already gone…

…And then there was just the two of them…

An awkward silence prevailed in the room the moment that Brad closed the door…

Rachel utters a silent prayer for the earth to open up and swallow her whole…

Anxiously, she hugged her arms to herself and fixed her gaze at the blank wall ahead of her…

Anywhere…

Except at Finn…

Feeling as if her heart would jump out of her chest, Rachel stands up and walks over to the mini bar that was situated at the far end of the room to calm her nerves and pour herself a drink…

Finn followed her with his gaze and when he realized what she intended to do, he was already standing up and snatching her glass away from her even before he can think straight about what he was doing…

".. THE HELL?"

She whipped her head around to glare at him as she exclaimed angrily…

There was a look of surprise in Finn's face as if even he was stunned at what he just did…

Saving himself from further embarrassment, he visibly collected himself and cleared his throat before addressing her calmly…

"I—I just thought that I'd save you from the trouble of getting drunk… "

He mumbled under his breath shyly before looking at her with a tender expression on his face…

"Remember that time when you threw that trainwreck of a party at your house and you took just one sip of that wine cooler and already you were dancing around and making out with Blaine like it was nobodys business?"

He gave out a nervous chuckle…

"You get drunk at just a drop of anything alcoholic… "

_He rolled his eyes teasingly…_

"Remember?"

_Affectionately…_

Reminding her of things that she'd rather remain buried and hidden in a place where it can't anymore hurt her…

"That was a lifetime ago Finn…"

She said coldly…

"I'm not that girl anymore…"

Finn looks at her as if he can't understand what she's saying… A look of disbelief, or denial crossing over his face as he seem to find it difficult to connect how she's saying that the Rachel he knew before was not the same as the Rachel that was now standing before him…

"Quit it…"

Rachel said… Covering her face with her hands to avoid his stare because like a fool, she suddenly felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes and that she would cry at any given moment…

"Quit what?"

He asked softly…

"Quit looking at me as if you want to get inside my head… Like we're friends and that you know me and that we are still in high school and that everything is just the same… "

She sighed in frustration…

He lowered his head to look at his shoes… Flustered at how Rachel seems to be pushing him away and how she seems to be so far from him…

" I - I just missed you that's -"

She raised her hand to stop him…

"DON'T - Just- don't… I'm not the same girl Finn… I'm not the girl who follows you blindly around and who bared her heart and soul to you only for you to make me feel that I'd always be second best… I have forgotten all about her… I have forgotten all about us… whatever happened in the past should just remain where it was…

Isn't that what you wanted? What you said? "

He almost keeled over at that…

The pain was almost physical that he finds it difficult to breathe…

So this was how she felt…

This was how he made her feel during that time and he doesn't know if he can ever forgive himself…

"Besides - I'm sure Quinn would really APPRECIATE hearing you say that…"

She rolled her eyes sarcastically…

"Rach -"

He took a deep breath before continuing… Hoping that she'd listen and that she'd see how much he regretted letting her go and how he wished everything was different…

"Quinn - Quinn and I are finished… a long time ago… it was over even before it ever began…"

He doesn't even know why he's telling her this…

Why he's saying all these stuff…

It was as if his brain had suddenly stopped functioning and now he's just talking to her from his heart…

There was a look that passed over her eyes when she heard him which could have been relief?

Or happiness?

Or delight?

However it was gone even before he can pin down the feeling and she gave him a little smile that didn't quite reach her eyes…

"So what do you expect me to say? Good for you? Or, I'm sorry? "

She shrugged… Looking like she couldn't even care less…

He looked confused and at a loss because her reply was one that he was not expecting…

"I - I just thought I'd tell you and - we're friends so - "

He stuttered timidly… He feels small and inadequate and he wants to find the words to let her know how sorry he was but just like always, he couldn't…

"BUT THAT'S JUST IT FINN! Don't you understand?"

She exclaimed frustratedly…

"We're not friends anymore… I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND…"

She emphasized the last sentence as if driving home a point…

"By some joke of fate, we're going to be co-workers and I can't do anything about that except set rules because you are just that and nothing else… But beyond that… PLEASE… Let's keep our personal business out of this because -"

_Because you hurt me so much that I don't know how to trust you again and yet despite that I still love you the same…_

Is what she was really thinking…

But instead…

"It's - it's unprofessional…"

_That's what she said…_

Finn wanted to nod in understanding but he couldn't…

Just because she's hurting him and breaking his heart, it doesn't mean that he'd give her up…

He waited far too long to get this second chance and missed her far too much to just walk away…

And if after he's tried everything and he's given his best she still feels the same, then at least he's content in the knowledge that she knows how he really feels…

But he can't think about that possibility…

He wouldn't…

Because years of being without her just like the past eight years is a life that is not even worth imagining…

"I - I need some air…"

Rachel broke the silence…

And he gave her that sad smile and and only squeezed her shoulder in reply…

It took all of the courage that Rachel can muster to shake him off and walk out of that room instead of burying her face in his chest and telling him that she forgives him…

Because she can't afford to let herself get close to him…

She couldn't …

Because if he hurts her again (and she believes he will), she wouldn't know how to fix herself anymore and then she will truly be broken…

Fuck!

She really deserves an Oscar…

Not for this movie, but for the way she pretended and for the days ahead where she will continue to pretend that she doesn't care…

Because, if only she is being honest and if only she admits the truth to herself, the fact of the matter is, she had always remembered and she knows she always will…

**AUTHORS NOTE: **_**I really, really appreciate all your comments... it inspires me to write more so i hope you'd remember to leave a note!**_


	6. Mr Brightside

**MR. BRIGHTSIDE – THE KILLERS**

_I'm coming out of my cage  
And I've been doing just fine  
Gotta gotta be down  
Because I want it all  
It started out with a kiss  
How did it end up like this  
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss_

_Now I'm falling asleep  
And she's calling a cab  
While he's having a smoke  
And she's taking a drag  
Now they're going to bed  
And my stomach is sick  
And it's all in my head  
But she's touching his-chest  
Now, he takes off her dress  
Now, letting me go_

_And I just can't look its killing me  
And taking control  
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea  
Swimming through sick lullabies  
Choking on your alibis  
But it's just the price I pay  
Destiny is calling me  
Open up my eager eyes  
'Cause I'm Mr Brightside_

_I'm coming out of my cage  
And I've been doing just fine  
Gotta gotta be down  
Because I want it all_

_It started out with a kiss  
How did it end up like this  
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss_

_Now I'm falling asleep  
And she's calling a cab  
While he's having a smoke  
And she's taking a drag  
Now they're going to bed  
And my stomach is sick  
And it's all in my head  
But she's touching his-chest  
Now, he takes off her dress  
Now, letting me go_

_Cause I just can't look its killing me  
And taking control  
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea  
Swimming through sick lullabies  
Choking on your alibis  
But it's just the price I pay  
Destiny is calling me  
Open up my eager eyes  
'Cause I'm Mr Brightside_

_I never...  
I never...  
I never...  
I never..._

**Chapter 5**

**Mr. Brightside**

Whoever it was that invented shades must be a freakin' genius…

And if only Finn knew him and he lives somewhere in Lima he would have given him props already for helping out dudes like him who are so love struck over their exes…

Guys like him whom without the help of tinted sunglasses would probably be labeled as stalkers and end up in a godforsaken jail somewhere, doing time and incarcerated…

Trying his best to pry his gaze away from Rachel to concentrate instead on the lame ass game that he's been pretending to play on his laptop for the past three hours, Finn sighed heavily at how pathetic his life is that despite the fact that he went out on a limb just to get a part for this movie, the reason why he auditioned in the first place does not even notice that he exists except perhaps when she's looking at him as if she's eaten something bad every time she feels his presence…

Hiding behind the guise of stretching and yawning, Finn sneakily steals a glance at Rachel once again from behind his shades…

She was sitting across from him in their otherwise empty dressing room… Waiting patiently for the time when they will be called for take by flipping through her script and memorizing her lines…

He watched her as she meticulously underlines each page and then close her eyes while mumbling before checking if she's got everything right and then doing the same thing all over again…

How adorable is she?

He can't help but think…

He wonders how she manages to still look so freakin' gorgeous and fresh despite the fact that they've been working 18 hour days ever since they started filming…

He marvels at how she manages to ace all her scenes while he fumbles with his and how she can be so alert and bushy eyed when it was so early in the morning…

How could she seem so unaffected by his presence when just being around her makes his heart race and his palms sweat and his hands itch to just hold her close and kiss her senseless?

DAMMIT…

He must really be in Hollywood Hell…

And all because she smiles at him and flirts with him and looks at him with loving eyes but only when the cameras are rolling…

But once it stops?

He could have been invisible for all she cares because she barely looks at him and barely acknowledges his presence …

It had been two weeks since that heavy and emotional confrontation that they had and he's been telling himself that she just needs time and that maybe after awhile she would also come around…

Yeah, right…

Fat chance of that happening…

If only she's just halfway as damned occupied with him the way that he is with her…

If only just like him, she freakin' faints whenever he walks past just like how he sizzles when he watches every single move she makes…

Or if only she would walk towards his direction with a determined look on her face the way that she's doing now -

Finn blinked his eyes as he realized that she REALLY is going towards where he is and that he is not just imagining things…

Muttering a muffled curse under his breath, he almost fell off his chair as he tried to straighten up… Trying out positions that would make him appear all cool and casual and unaware that she was near rather than about to pee his pants in excitement which was what he truly feels…

"Sup Rach?"

He cocked an eyebrow at her, hoping against hope that he appears chill as she stopped in front of him…

She was hugging her script close to her chest while chewing on her bottom lip… Looking every bit like she doesn't know what to do now that she's standing there or like she'd rather be somewhere else rather than where she currently is…

Following her movements, Finn watched her as she flattens her skirt before sitting down daintily on the chair beside him…

He felt his pulse quicken at the thought that maybe she's not there to make small talk but rather once again to call him on his shit and chew him out while giving him a piece of her mind…

"The - The director told me that maybe it would be a good idea for us to rehearse our lines together?"

She said softly…

He was so fucking relieved to hear that that before he knew it, he was breaking out into a smile that could only be described as million dollar…

Rachel stared at him for awhile… Looking entranced as she watched his face before she averted her gaze and cleared her throat and the moment was gone…

"Look… I agree that sometimes I may be too rash and impulsive and that there really was no reason for me to lash out at you the way that I did last time… It was immature of me and sophomoric and frankly, we're all adults here so there really is no excuse for me to have acted so juvenile and so silly…"

She sighed as if at a loss for words before continuing again…

"I guess what I'm really saying is that we can act inoffensively and talk even if we're really not friends… it's just so infantile for me to keep on avoiding you or for us not to talk to each other knowing that we have work to do and that people are depending on us to deliver what they expected…"

He felt himself break out into a grin again despite the fact that he can't even understand half of what she's saying …

Just the thought that she's even talking to him without looking at him like he's some kind of criminal is enough to make him feel like a superstar and even if she's saying that it's just for work and all that crap, as long as she's talking to him, he would take whatever baloney she dishes...

"I'd – I'd love that…"

He gushed…

He fuckin' gushed…

God! he sounded like a pansy…

And when she looked at him and smiled, he swears hearts reflected in his eyes and he almost shot rainbows out of his ass…

"Now that that's over…"

Rachel straightens up and he watched her as she puts on her "let's get down to business" face…

"I was thinking about this scene - do you think we should be saying this while -"

Her voice washed over him and he barely hears what she is saying because he was just so doggone happy that he couldn't stop smiling nor think about anything else…

And then her goddamn cellphone rang…

She looked startled as she excused herself… Frowning a little as if surprised that someone was calling her when she was in the middle of something like work and when she was just starting to get her business on the way…

"Hello?"

The moment that she heard who was on the other line, her expression quickly changed…

He watched her as she broke out into a smile and he doesn't even know who was calling her but he wanted to punch someone in the face, preferably the one that she was talking with…

"Jesse…"

She said breathlessly…

JESSE?

ST. JAMES?

Fuck… Now he really wants to throw something…

Where in the world does that douchebag even get the guts to be calling her again?

She glanced at him guiltily, lowering her voice and turning her back on him as he tried to pretend that he was not listening in on their conversation, pretending to be typing on his laptops keyboard as if he was doing work that would win a Nobel Prize or cure AIDS or something…

"Yeah… yeah… I miss you too…"

WHAT THE HELL?

How can she be talking to him that way when he left her heartbroken and embarrassed her and she talks to HIM as if he's scum and like he's the devil who's ruined her poor soul in so many ways?

_Maybe because he just cracked an egg on her head but you cracked her heart, grinded it and then turned it into hamburger…_

Finn scowled more heavily as he heard that little voice inside his head…

His hands are now heavy on the keyboard… Almost pounding on it and Rachel looked back at him with a frown distractedly…

She lowered her voice even more, covering the mouthpiece and standing up to put some distance between the two of them…

Finn threw away his shades and kicked away a chair…Muttering expletives about how his laptop doesn't seem to be working which caused Rachel to whip her head around to glare back at him…

She opened her mouth wide open, an irritated expression on her face as she stretched out her hands in annoyance like she was gesturing what was his problem…

He shrugged innocently, pointed at his laptop and mouthed the word "Broken…"

She was still shooting lasers out of her eyes as she turned her head around to continue her conversation with Jesse St. dickwad…

And it felt like forever before she put the phone down…

And in that amount of time, it took every single muscle in Finn's body to stay still and not snatch the phone away from her and then smash it into a million pieces…

"Now, where were we?"

She asked the moment that the call was over…

Leaning forward to grab her script from where she left it like everything was normal…

"Like I was saying perhaps it would be better if in this scene if I-"

"So, the rumors are true huh?"

He cuts her off midsentence and she lifted her head to look at him quizzically…

"It was not just made up? Those articles on the tabloids? You're really going out with Jesse AGAIN?"

He could have smashed his head against the wall for sounding like a jealous husband…

She straightens up and she looked a little guilty and just when he thought that she wouldn't answer she tossed her hair as if making a point that she has nothing to be ashamed of and that she can date whoever she damn well pleases…

"Not that I think it's polite to be listening in on other peoples personal conversation and not that it's any of your business but yes, if you should know I'm - seeing Jesse…"

There was a beat of hesitation in her voice as if she is not even sure what she'd call this thing that they're having…

He scoffed…

"So what? Are you guys living life like a musical and singing duets while grocery shopping and then planning to have babies that would be red haired and singing Tomorrow while you cook in the kitchen and he fixes the gutter?"

His voice was dripping with sarcasm and he wanted to stop but he couldn't…

She sighed…

Closing her eyes before pasting on a sarcastic smile on her face as if to stop herself from snapping because he was REALLY testing her patience…

"Not that you need to know, but we do sing duets while doing the laundry and NOT when we're grocery shopping …"

If he was not just so freakin' annoyed he would have laughed at how naïvely cute she sounded…

"Besides none of us are redhaired so there's no chance in hell that we would have a kid that's red haired… "

She rolled her eyes as if it was the silliest thing she's ever heard…

And he felt himself flush with anger…

Just hearing her even THINK about having babies with that ass is enough to get him in one of the foulest moods that he's ever had…The kind of mood that he had when he learnt how it was not him but Puck who was the father of Quinn's child and then he pounded him to a pulp…

"GREAT! GREAT FOR YOU guys! Then why don't you just get damn freakin' married!"

He muttered a muffled "fuck" before slouching low into his seat…

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Rachel's eyes widen… Surprise etched on her face as she blinked a couple of times as if she can not comprehend why he was suddenly so angry…

"There's no need to curse! Besides I don't -"

She exclaimed… Her words coming out of her mouth like a freight train but then her words suddenly trailed off as understanding slowly dawned on her and she looked at Finn with curious eyes before asking him tentatively…

"Finn Hudson… Don't… don't tell me you're jealous?"

She said disbelievingly…

He would have wanted to deny it…

Wanted to keep a little bit of pride for himself just to save face…

However, just like how he has no pride left lately when it comes to her and letting his instincts guide him instead… he stood up so suddenly that Rachel took a step back and he leaned over her as he brought his face THIS close to hers….

"Like hell…"

He whispered…

and then he walked away...

Leaving Rachel wide eyed and breathless and in a trance as the cursor in as the size 38 neatly typed font in Finn's laptop flashed

"_**JESSE ST. JAMES IS A FUCKING IDIOT, DOUCHEBAG, JERKFACE AND I WOULD LOVE FOR NOTHING MORE THAN TO KICK HIS ASS"… **_

**AUTHORS NOTE:** _How are you guys liking the story so far? I see a lot of hits but not a lot of comments…:(_

_Please, please leave a note as I would love to hear your thoughts! It would make the hard work I put into this story worth it! :)_


	7. Leave Right Now

**LEAVE RIGHT NOW - WILL YOUNG**

_I'm here just like I said__  
__Though its breaking every rule I've ever made__  
__My racing heart is just the same__  
__Why make it strong to break it once again?___

_And I'd love to say I do__  
__Give everything to you__  
__But I can never now be true__  
__So I say...___

_I think I'd better leave right now__  
__Before I fall any deeper__  
__I think I'd better leave right now__  
__Feeling weaker and weaker__  
__Somebody better show me how__  
__Before I fall any deeper__  
__I think I'd better leave right now___

_I'm here so please explain__  
__Why you're opening up a healing wound again__  
__I'm a little more careful__  
__Perhaps it shows__  
__But if I lose the highs, at least I'm spared the lows___

_Now I tremble in your arms__  
__What could be the harm__  
__To feel my spirit calm__  
__So I say..___

_I think I'd better leave right now__  
__Before I fall any deeper__  
__I think I'd better leave right now__  
__Feeling weaker and weaker__  
__Somebody better show me how__  
__Before I fall any deeper__  
__I think I'd better leave right now___

_I wouldn't know how to say__  
__How good it feels seeing you today__  
__I see you've got your smile back__  
__Like you say your right on track__  
__But you may never know why__  
__Once bitten twice is shy__  
__If I'm proud perhaps I should explain__  
__I couldn't bear to lose you again___

_I think I'd better leave right now__  
__Before I fall any deeper__  
__I think I'd better leave right now__  
__Feeling weaker and weaker__  
__Somebody better show me how__  
__Before I fall any deeper__  
__I think I'd better leave right now___

_Yes I will...___

_I think I'd better leave right now__  
__Before I fall any deeper__  
__I think I'd better leave right now__  
__Feeling weaker and weaker__  
__Somebody better show me how__  
__Before I fall any deeper__  
__I think I'd better leave right now_

**Chapter Six**

She shouldn't have come here…

She should have just stayed perfectly at home and caught up on sleep instead of using her only rest day in weeks to open up old wounds and remember things that she wish she could have just forgotten…

Taking a deep breath to calm her frazzled nerves, Rachel sat alone on the backyard swing of the shared Hudson-Hummel home as she thought back to the events of the evening…

The moment that Kurt got this harebrained idea of throwing her a welcome home party, she already had a dark sense of foreboding …

Though it was a delight to hear about Brittany's engagement to Artie and she was ecstatic to see Tina pregnant with hers and Mikes first child, it was still really hard to be around Finn in the same room most especially around friends who shared with them the best and happiest years of their lives and who knew almost their entire history…

Sure, she might have laughed and smiled and she's sure that she even nodded to Noah's stories in all the right places, but there was not one minute during the night when she was not aware of the looks Finn threw her from underneath his lashes or of the way that he turn his head to look at her whenever Mercedes recalls an anecdote of a shared memory of everything that they were and everything that they used to be together…

This entire thing was a fucking timebomb…

A minefield of feelings and emotions that she's now having a hard time suppressing and she just needed to get away from it all, otherwise she would have just broken down and shattered into a million pieces…

Hugging her arms around herself as if to ward off the chill of the autumn breeze blowing in the cool Ohio night, Rachel closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the hard wood of the swings headrest…

She just needs a moment of peace and quiet…

A moment alone to collect herself without being bombarded with thoughts and images of Finn and their past and without feeling as if she would throw herself at him at any given moment…

She stayed that way for a couple of minutes…Her mind blank and her heart aching before she felt the swing move and she turned and stare at Finn who was now sitting beside her…

She wonders why despite the fact that she wanted to get away from it all, she was not surprised at all that he's there and instead there was a satisfaction in her heart that he followed her …

She's perplexed why unlike before, she doesn't feel the need to run away or be angry as she watched him cradle his beer in his large hands as he sit next to her awkwardly and stared straight ahead blankly…

Perhaps it was the way that Kurt shared how Finn got himself drunk and cried himself to sleep the moment he knew she left or of how Santana sarcastically mentioned that people thought he was really Frankenstein because he just went to school in a daze…

Perhaps it was the knowledge that he also hurt just as much as she did and of how perhaps he did love her even if it was not as much and despite the fact that maybe, it was just a teeny weeny bit…

"I'm sorry…"

Finn whispered and Rachel looked at him with a confused expression on her face…

He gave her a lopsided smile… That smile that was so HIM before he turned his head and pointed through the transparent sliding doors at their friends who are now taking turns singing and dancing drunkenly…

"For this…"

He sighed…

"For putting you on the spot… I know they can be kind of tactless sometimes…"

He rolled his eyes exasperatedly and Rachel shrugged… A small, sad smile playing on her lips as she looked at all those people inside tenderly…

"It's okay… It's not your fault and it doesn't matter… 

She said softly…

"I missed them…"

She lifted her eyes to meet his…

_I missed you…_

And despite the fact that the words remained unspoken, there was a look of understanding that passed between them…

It was as if they were transported back in time and they were back to being sixteen…

Back to that time when they were full of dreams and hopes and of each other that it was kinda funny how after all this time, somehow that part of them is still present even if she is now who she is and she's kinda unsure about the kind of man that he has become…

Finn turned to look at her before suddenly leaning closer… his hands cupping her face and his thumb brushing against her cheek while Rachel sat perfectly still, her heart pounding…

"You-you have something there…"

He said awkwardly…

His voice was thick with desire as he looked at her upturned face while he thinks of dead animals and hit and run mailmen…

Anything… just so he can quell the sudden need he had to hold her close and plant his lips against hers…

"Why did you choose Quinn?"

The quiet words just came out of Rachel's mouth without thinking…

Finn's thumb froze against her cheek as she uttered the words like it had just came to her at the spur of the moment and like she had not been thinking about it ever since that fateful day when they last saw each other…

Her voice was full of the pain that she had repressed for the longest time as she once again begged the boy in front of her for answers even if she promised that she would never lower her pride again just for his sake and that perhaps it's better if her questions remain unanswered …

Finn looks at her… his hands still pressed against her cheek as he stared at her with eyes that are full of things that he wanted to tell her…

Like how sorry he is for hurting her and how he's regretting his decisions…

How his feelings for Quinn can not even compare to the depth of his feelings for her and how he wished they are still together and of how much he wish he is now in Jesse's place…

Instead he just smiled sadly…

"It… it just happened… there's no excuse for it…"

He removed his hands from her face before staring off into the distance…

A tacit silence passing between them before he turned to look at Rachel again with sad eyes…

"If only I could undo it, I would… I guess I was just an asshole after all…"

A thoughtful pause enveloped the two of them as Rachel pried her gaze away from his sincere eyes… both of them quiet as they stare once more into the distance…

"Welcome home Rach… I'm glad you're here…"

He said in a whisper…

Her heart gave a little squeeze and she nodded slowly before turning her head to look at him one more time…

"How- How have you been?"

She asked for the first time and he gave a surprised start at the question and the curiosity and tenderness in her voice before giving out a weak chuckle…

"Alright I guess… for someone who made a decision that fucked up his life majorly…"

A pregnant pause greeted that sentence… Rachel not knowing how to respond to it as Finn gave a sad smile that didn't quite reach his eyes…

There was still an agonizing air about them as if they have just met for the first time…

A stilted pause punctuating their conversation as they relearn to speak with each other from the heart as they slowly let their guards down…

"Jesse and you seem to be getting along well…"

Rachel smiled back… once again feeling guilt overcome her though deep inside she knows that there is no reason for her to feel that way…

"Ummm…"

She nodded…

"I'm still jealous as hell but if you're happy with him I just hope you won't let him break your heart like I did…"

And the humorless laugh and the self condemn that he had in his voice almost broke her…

Rachel turned to look at Finn, swallowing the lump against her throat as he took a swig from his beer bottle as if getting all the strength he could get with the help of some liquid courage…

"I love you … "

The words came from out of the blue… surprising her and making her freeze as he finally said the word that she was waiting from him again eight years ago…

"I always imagined that you'd always be there and that I'd have the chance to tell you but I blew it… "

He gave a regretful smile…

"DAMMIT!"

He swore…

"I'm not saying this because of all that talk about the past inside or to get you back or to even gain your pity… I just wanted to tell you just because… You deserve to hear the truth… After all these years, you deserve it…"

There was a sincerity in his eyes that had never been there before and Rachel doesn't even know she's crying until she felt the wetness on her cheeks and until she tasted the saltiness on her lips…

Finn run his fingers through his hair frustratedly when he looked at her… He expelled a huge breath of air and raised his head heavenward as if not knowing what to do next or to even say…

"I'm sorry I was weak… I'm sorry I should have talked to you about it sooner… I'm sorry I wish I can undo what I did… I'm sorry I wish I knew words far stronger than this…"

She raised her hand to stifle a sob as she nodded slowly…

Thinking to herself how perhaps they're really not meant to be because otherwise, why is it that ever since they met there was always something there that always seem determined to forever keep them apart…

She cried for their lost love and the years they have wasted and for the hatred that she'd always kept for him inside her heart…

And at that very moment she knew…

That she had forgiven him and that no matter what, there is no use pretending she doesn't care because he'd always have a special place in her life…

The problem is she doesn't know if she can ever trust him again…

She lifted tear filled eyes to him… an unsure smile on her face as she shrugged…half laughing and half crying…

"What are we doing? This is a party and we're supposed to be happy and It's been years and it's so stupid and we should just move on and forget about -"

Grabbing her neck and muttering a muffled "shit" Rachel sat rigid with shock as Finn pressed his lips against hers and kissed her…

His lips were tender and coaxing, soft and yet demanding and weaving that familiar magic that captured her very soul that she felt nothing else mattered as everything else faded into the background…

Like the fact that Kurt and Mercedes and the others were probably looking at them and watching or that Jesse was in New York waiting…

Like the fear that she has of allowing herself to get too close to him again or even the warning bells ringing in her head about how in doing this she is almost officially as good as there…

At that moment there was only the feeling of his lips on hers and the way it moved against hers…

slowly…

softly…

but with a devilish passion unlike anything she had ever experienced…

Before long she was responding tenderly, her arms locking around Finn's neck as he gently wrapped his arms around her waist and as the kiss grew deeper and he pressed her more tightly against him, he gave out a guttural groan that brought her back to earth and made her aware of her surroundings…

With her cheeks flushed and her lips still swollen, Rachel pushed Finn away from her…

He still had his eyes closed and his mouth open…

A look of confusion dawning on his face as he slowly opened his eyes, completely at a loss of why she broke the kiss and aching at the sudden loss of her warmth beside him…

"I – I have to go-"

She whispered…

And Finn can do nothing but follow her with his eyes as she walked away…Lost in the memories that they shared and how he feels at that moment as he think to himself that perhaps no matter how hard he tries she has moved on and he can never have her back again…

He remembered when he left Glee just to keep his popularity and how she stood beside his locker urging him to come back and telling him that he shouldn't care because he is better than anyone else…

He remembers how she painstakingly prepared that picnic for him at the auditorium and how just being next to her is enough to set him on fire that he just had to have her lips…

He remembers Regionals where after that whole Jesse debacle he told her he loved her and she lit up in a smile as if he had just given her the entire universe…

He remembers The Only exception and his name on her necklace and cat calendars and banana bread and how he was her everything and how she always always make him feel and believe as if he's really worth something…

He remembers …

Because right now with the way things are going, it is everything of her that he has left and without that he might as well be left with NOTHING...


	8. Faithfully

**Chapter 7  
Faithfully**

She must have been crazy…

Either that or she's truly on her way there…

Otherwise, she would not have let Finn kiss her senseless and then stayed up all night like a giddy high school girl reliving the entire moment…

Yep…

If she was not insane, she would not have spent the whole night tossing and turning, thinking of what ifs and what was and hopes that didn't materialize and wishes that never came true and she blames it all on Finn…

Finn and those meddling Glee club members…

Stifling a yawn and shaking her head to focus on the sheet music in front of her, Rachel thought back longingly to how perfectly fine her life seemingly was up until the time she met Finn again…

For the longest time, she had already made peace with the story that love is a term that was just coined by a besotted fool one drunken night…

She's gotten used to the idea that what you pray for do not always happen and that wishes are only for people like Brittany who believe that Cupid is really the one responsible for bringing two people together….

She's through with pining and longing for things that could never be and of love that could not be duplicated nor returned…

She had spent enough sleepless nights during the time that she left Lima to make up for the hours of anybody who's jetlagged and getting used to the time difference between continents that they have traveled…

She had gone through the highs of a love so passionate that sometimes it feels as if her heart would leap out of her chest and the lows of an excruciating heartbreak that the pain was almost physical…

She's been there… done that… she would not wish to go through it again short of going crazy…

Never… no… definitely not…absolutely…

or so she thought…

Being in this situation right now, she's never been more confused…

There's a part of her that would just want to forgive and start all over again but there's also a part of her that shudders at the thought of the pain that another heartbreak can bring…

In her head, she knows that her love for Finn had never waned but where would she begin to trust when this is exactly just like history repeating itself?

How can she believe him when doing so in the past had left her disappointed, broken and dejected?

How can so many things be the same and yet so different?

How come she's here again thinking of the possibilities when this is somehow the same thing that happened to them not just once or twice but three times in the past?

She promised herself that she will be wiser this time around …

But the thing is, the more she sees Finn, the harder it gets to hold on to that promise…

Darn Kurt…

Darn Mercedes…

Darn last night and Darn Finn for making her feel and think and recall old feelings that she wish she'd never again remember…

Giving up all pretense of reading ANYTHING and covering her face with her song piece instead, Rachel slouched against her seat as she immersed herself in the temporary quiet of the ballroom that they would shoot in…

A quiet that unfortunately was only fleeting because she saw the object of her frustration arrive and so she had no choice but to act as if nothing was amiss as she pasted on a fake, bright smile mostly for his sake…

There was a moment of pause however, wherein Finn just stood in front of her and Rachel almost stopped breathing…

Her heart already racing at the thought that he might bring up the kiss from yesterday or what had happened but thankfully, he only waved hello, plopped down on the seat beside her and put on his aviator sunglasses…

Breathing a sigh of relief, Rachel looked at him quizzically as he gave out a groan as if he was dying…

Finn lifted his head for a moment to look at her direction, he mumbled the words "Puck" and "hangover" and as Rachel nodded in understanding, he once again leaned backwards in his seat and before long he was back to sleeping…

Great… just great!

Rachel thought… He can sleep like a baby and sit beside her without a care in the world while here she was overanalyzing things and jangling like a mass of nerves just being around his presence…

Turning her head to look at his sleeping form, Rachel's look of annoyance quickly dissipated as she started to look at him in earnest unabashedly…

How can he be so heartbreakingly good looking?

He has those cute freckles that are smattered all around his face which in the past she had painstakingly counted (23!)

Those long eyelashes that brush against her face whenever he nuzzles her cheek or when he rests his chin on her shoulders…

His soft hair which she had run her fingers through when they kiss or when he's on her lap and he's sleeping while she's reading …

Just looking at him is enough to make her truly happy and she wonders if he know…

Against her will, Rachel felt her hand trace his cheek lovingly… a sad smile on her face as she remembered the feel of his skin against hers and how she had done the same when he was down in that nurse's clinic with mono…

"Rach- What are you doing?"

He whispered curiously…

Making Rachel jump back in her seat as he removed his sunglasses to fix a quizzical look upon her face…

She jumped in her seat and stood up… A panicked expression on her face as she quickly made up an excuse to save face…

"You- You were having rapid eye movement and I thought that you were having a nightmare so I took it upon myself to wake you up Finny!"

Finny!

Where the hell did that come from?

Finn looked on at her with tender amusement… His eyes twinkling and his shoulders shaking with laughter…

God! How he missed her out of this world craziness…

This is more of the Rachel that he fell in love with…this woman who can make him confused with her strange way of constructing sentences…

This is HIS Rachel and not the bitter, jaded, cynical woman that he seemed to have returned to after all these years…

Rachel looked at him with a pout… a hurt expression on her face as she thought that she's laughing at her rather than what she said…

"Come here, A-rach!"

He pulled her to him and before he knew it he was hugging her and kissing the top of her head…

For a moment he seemed to have forgotten what type of situation they are in before his eyes widened in surprise which was an exact mirror to hers and he quickly released her as they stood face to face in awkward silence…

He wish he had time to savor and relish the moment

That moment of closeness like nothing had happened…

Like everything was the way it was before she left, before they were separated…

It had taken several shout of "Finns" from the director before Finn can pry his gaze away from hers and before he can walk away to rehearse his scene…

The moment he left, Rachel felt her knees buckle… She touched her hand against her rapidly beating chest as she fanned herself before touching her hand again against her burning cheeks…

She heard the director tell him to warm up prior to their musical scene… She saw Finn move towards the piano that was in the corner… She knew that the room was bustling with activity and that he had already moved away and yet she felt the connection they shared linger in the air as if there was no one else and there was only him and there was only her…

And at that moment it was as if the years apart didn't happen…

Like Quinn didn't happen…

Just the fact that she felt his heart in that embrace and as the room was filled with that familiar tune and as his voice rose above the room, she knew she was a goner…

_Highway run into the midnight sun__  
__Wheels go round and round__  
__You're on my mind_

_**Break a Leg…  
I Love You…**_

They were separated by an entire ballroom and yet their eyes were glued to each other…

She remembered the time when he first said those three words and how it was so unexpected and yet she was not surprised at all when he said it…

Like she knew it all along and she was just waiting for him to realize it…

_Restless hearts, sleep alone tonight __  
__Sending all my love along the wire _

_**I want to be the only person that makes you happy…**_

The moment that Finn finished his verse, Rachel needed no prodding to sing the second one…

She was lost in the memory of how he made her feel loved and protected and maybe that's why she always felt that he was too good for her and that she'd never be his equal…

He was the only weakness that she had…

The only love of her life…

THE ONLY EXCEPTION to her rules…

_They say that the road __  
__Ain't no place to start a family __  
__Right down the line it's been you and me __  
__And lovin' a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be __  
__Oh boy, you stand by me __  
__I'm forever yours __  
__Faithfully_

_**I'd never break up with you…**_

Around them the crew were stopping what they're doing and staring…

There was something so heartwrenching about the way they sang the song like they meant every single line and lyric…

Just like how they were so sure and confident at that time that they'd never part and that they'd never break up because that's how much they felt for each other…

That's how much they LOVED each other…

_Faithfully_

_I'm still yours…_

_I'm still yours… _

_I'm still yours…_

_**Are we a part of something special you and I?**_

Never taking his gaze off from hers and as they sang the bridge of the song, Finn stood up and walked towards where she was…

She knew just like her, he was also swimming in the memories of a past that they have tried to forget but still have not forgotten…

A painful experience that they are trying to move away from but the scars are too deep that it would take more than that before they can start over…

Because they were a part of something special…

IT WAS SOMETHING SPECIAL…

Something that's rare and genuine and that comes only once in a lifetime that when they lost that chance it was as if they lost the most important part of their lives…

And as the song finished, they were both breathing heavily…

Like they just ran a race as they both stared at each other longingly…

And when he pulled her again in an embrace, she didn't resist this time…

Instead, she put her arms around his waist as she buried her face against his chest and told herself that for now, she wouldn't think…

She had plenty of time for that tomorrow…

Tomorrow…

"What do we do now Rach?"

He whispered softly to her…

At a loss as to what this means and where they're heading after…

She lifted her eyes up to his, the same look of confusion mirrored in her eyes as she tentatively spoke as if she was just learning to speak…

"I don't know - perhaps - perhaps we can start with getting to know each other again and being friends…"

And he's okay with that…

He thought he wouldn't be but it's okay -

Because even if she'd only given him that- just having her here now… at this moment in his embrace… He feels as if he's already won half the fight…

_**AUTHORS NOTE:**_

_**Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your wonderful comments... It inspires me to come up with new chapters so i hope you'd continue expressing your thoughts about this FF because it makes all the hard work i put into it worth it...**_

_**And to those who read this fic but don't comment I hope you'd leave a note because hearing from you truly makes me happy…**_

_**Also, i'd want to give a heads up that the next chapters might not be posted as fast as i did these ones because i'm going back to work and would be busy already...**_

_**I'd try to post new ones within a weeks time though or earlier if my schedule permits...**_

_**Lastly, i'd like to invite you guys to check out my other Fanfiction, Fix You if you liked my writing style and this story...**_

_**(you may click on my pen name for the link)**_

_**It has a PuckleBerry ending though but A LOT of FinChel scenes too for all FinChel shippers... Perhaps the storyline might also engage you despite the fact that it features more of Puck and Rachel...**_

_**I hope you can check it out and tell me also what you think!**_


	9. Fall For You

**CHAPTER 8**

**Fall For You**

Life is good…

It had never been better…

In fact, it's wayyyyy fuckin' perfect…

And Finn can't stop smiling no matter how hard he tries…

And how could he when the past three weeks for him had been the closest thing to heaven?

This?

This right here to him is his idea of perfection and he can't remember feeling as happy nor as contented as what he is feeling at this exact freakin' moment…

Finn folds his arms beneath his head as he shifted positions to find the spot where he can stare at Rachel more to his hearts content…

She was seated near his foot on her couch with her legs folded beneath her… Her right hand gesturing animatedly as she extol the virtues of Les Mis vs. Cats in about a 100 words a minute while her left cradles a large coffee cup…

She was barefooted, dressed in a striped loose sweater and tattered denim shorts with her hair piled haphazardly on top of her head held only by a pencil but still, Finn thinks that she is the most beautiful woman alive…

With her sentences that almost tangle up all over them self as she barely pause for breath and her eyes sparkling with passion as she speaks of something that she obviously believes in very much…

She was every bit the Rachel Berry that he knew and fell in love with and suddenly everything is right in the world and wars would stop and he swear somewhere out there world peace is already a possibility…

"You're not listening…"

She stares at him with a mock glare while her lips puckered up in a pout and it was all he can do not to jump her…

Instead, he smiled again like a besotted fool and she stared at him sternly before breaking out in a smile herself, as if she finds his fascination of her amusing…

Ever since Faithfully happened it was as if all his prayers have been answered …

They read their lines together, they joke around and tease each other in between takes and they talk about how to improve their acting skills even further during work hours…

Like a pair of long lost friends (lovers?) they talk non stop about everything and nothing as they discuss the virtues of Celine Dion vs. Barbra Streisand (well, mostly her and he just nods in all the right places)… They encourage and give friendly critiques to each other when they do their scales or do their vocal runs and they take turns in hanging out in each others dressing room or trailer whenever there is a long waiting time…

Still, it was the nights that keep him awake and which makes him smile for no reason whenever he remembers…

The way she looked in her matching pink apron and pink headband when she taught him how to bake her signature sugar cookies and how it sorta ended up in a flour fight…

The time when they watched Puck's band play in town and they ran in the rain and got soaked but they didn't even seem to care because they're holding hands…

The night when they took a drive and she slept on his shoulder and how he felt that if that was a dream he wishes that he would never wake up…

They shared stories, conversed about their careers and their aspirations and also discussed the friends and family that they have not been able to see or heard from during the course of their separation…

They caught up with each other's lives and try to get to know each other again and make up for everything that they missed out on while they were apart…

…Except for the part where he dumped her and broke her heart…

It was as if for Rachel, it never happened…

She has a way of always changing the topic when he brings it up and it makes him frustrated and also kinda sad because somehow it was the only deal breaker for the perfection that his life now was…

"Finn, THIS IS SERIOUS! I really need your opinion if we should ask the music director whether we can do our own version of Memories for our movie and you're not even listening!"

She looked at him with a hurt expression on her face before rolling her eyes exasperatedly as if she had already given up on him…

Slapping him playfully on his arms and unfolding her legs from the couch, Rachel stood up to walk towards the kitchen as Finn followed her with his gaze…

"I have eggs and ham and - well, eggs and ham… What do you want?"

She shouted off from behind the opened cupboard totally unaware of the wistful look that Finn was throwing her way…

_You…_

_I want nothing else but you…_

He wishes he could say that out loud…

At this moment, he can pretend that the past didn't happen and that they turned out just the way that he had always imagined them to be…

Him, lying on the couch after a long hard day at work and her, welcoming him with a tender smile as she prepared a hot meal just for him in the kitchen…

They would be married and happy and probably have two children and she will still be rocking Broadway while he stands in the sidelines cheering for her…

Everything would be simple and right and perfect and he swears he can almost cry from the regret of letting that possibility slip away…

"Do you ever think about getting married?"

The words were already out of his mouth even before he can think about it…

He knows he sounded needy for asking her that question but it was something that he had long been thinking about ever since they sort of made up and he thinks that if he doesn't get to hear her answer, he would just wither up and die…

There was a confused expression on her face as she leaned backwards from behind the open frame to get a good look at him… As if she was thinking to herself where that question came from and if it was something that is worthy of an answer…

After a pregnant pause, she replied…

"Of course Finn… it's something that I think about and is in my list of plans…yes…"

Her tone was contemplative … longing… as if it was a sad thought that she doesn't want to think about rather than a happy occasion that she is looking forward to…

"To whom? To Jesse?"

Dammit… he is behaving like her boyfriend and he has no right and judging from the way her back stiffened and how she turned away from him, she was probably thinking the exact same thing…

"Not that you need to know but since I'm seeing him now, there is that possibility…"

She said softly…

He felt his heart twist inside his chest at just hearing her say that…

Just the thought alone was unbearable…

Of her being married to somebody else other than him and he thought he's already felt the worst when he lost her, but this?

This is in an altogether different level…

The kind where the pain starts from his heart and radiates through his whole body that he almost doubled over from the pain because it was almost physical…

"Are you sleeping with him?"

Crap. Crap. Crap.

He better shut his stupid mouth before he loses it and before she closes herself off from him again but it was as if he was outside of his own body because he can't anymore control himself and it was like the weeks of longing have finally added up to bring him to a point that was way beyond that…

He was expecting her to be angry but instead she just lets out an exasperated sigh before giving him her standard answer…

The answer that she had long been giving him ever since they started this whole thing and he wishes he can scratch those words off of the goddamn dictionary because that's how much he fuckin' hates it…

"Finn… I know we're back to being friends and all but I don't think it's something you should be asking…"

Her voice was almost pleading… Like she was afraid of opening up a whole can of worms if they continue any further…

He stood up and strode towards her so fast that she lets out a gasp of surprise when she turned around and saw him standing behind her…

He was pinning her to the counter and he was so close that she could smell him and feel his warmth on her body…

"Are we really, Rach? Just friends?"

He can feel her heart beating wildly against his chest and she lets out a nervous laugh…

"Let's - Let's not ruin this Finn please? Of-of course we're friends…what else do you think this is?"

She tried to sound lighthearted but her voice came out awkwardly… Her eyes darting around the room nervously as if she was trying to find escape but he would not have anymore of it…

Not this time around…

"GODDAMIT! Please Rachel…Please let's not do this anymore…Stop running away from me… "

He pressed his forehead against hers… his eyes closed tightly as he begged her… imploring her to forgive him and give them that second chance because he knows no one else in the whole world who deserves it better more than them…

"Finn…"

She sounded breathless… There was a wealth of meaning in the way she said his name and even without her saying he knows that she's afraid that he would hurt her again…

That she's trying her best to trust him and believe in him and that she wishes they can start all over but it was not that simple and she doesn't even know where to begin…

"C-can't we just be happy like this? Like the way we are? We are happy aren't we?"

Her eyes lifted up to meet his… as if she was seeking validation for that thought but he is through with dancing around the issue of wanting her back…

He needs her…ALL OF HER… and he thought he was okay with just this but the more days they spend together the more greedy he gets that even if he promised her, at this moment he knows that he just won't be satisfied anymore with anything else …

He pulls her in for a kiss… He can feel her tensing up as she starts to push him away but he hugged her even closer to him…

"Don't fight it Rach… I know you want to kiss me back… I can feel it…"

And she lifted up longing eyes to him and it was as if a dam had burst open as she lets out a little moan and gripped the back of his neck as the feelings that she had bottled up inside her finally found their release in the form of that kiss…

They traced each others lips… As if memorizing the feel and texture of each other… his touch was soft… reverent almost… a total contrast to the kisses they shared in the past which was raw and wild and abandoned… This one… this one felt as if he was baring his soul to her… as if he was getting to know what's in her heart and healing it by putting his lips on hers… he stroked her lips curiously… as if memorizing every single inch of it, tasting her… warming her… his lips now tracing her collarbone as he tugged on the hem of her sweater and he heard Rachel protest weakly as he laid her hands flat against her now naked stomach and as he took off his own shirt and unbuttoned his jeans…

"This- This is wrong- we should stop…"

There was no conviction to the way she said it…

"This feels so right…:"

He said in between kisses… His lips moulding onto hers then sliding forward to kiss her ears …

"We've - We've hurt each other so much…"

She was trying to let the voice of reason win but her body just won't let her…

"We don't have to hurt anymore…"

Rachel's heart lurch at the desire that she felt in his voice…

And it was as if she's reached the point of no return…

The point where even if she doesn't know where it would end or what would happen next, she knows that at that moment she has to give in because she can't anymore deny how she feels because she is still truly, deeply in love with him…

Finn watched the play of emotions on her face… his throat almost closing up at how beautiful she looked and he almost came undone when she reaches out to touch his face and smiled at him tenderly…

"I missed you Finn…"

And that was the moment when he drove himself into her…

And she can't think of anything else…

Not of Jesse or of regret or what ifs…

Not of how much power he has to hurt her and how she is scared shitless about trusting him with her heart again…

Only this moment right here …

With him on top of her and the feel of him inside her and how everything else cease to exist…

Just him and her and this moment when she feels healed and whole and truly home again…

With Finn…

And as she surrendered herself fully and opened herself up to him, Finn felt the exact same thing…

He swears he can do anything…

For her… he can…

Even if it means that he had to bust his ass off just to prove himself worthy of her again…

if that's what it takes… he would fuckin' do anything…

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

Once again my heartfelt thanks for all your wonderful comments for chapter seven... Keep em coming... and if you love this fanfic... i hope you'd spread the word so that more Finchel Lovers can read it... Your comments really make my day so I hope you'd continute leaving reviews…Thanks ya guys! *hugs*


	10. Jesses Girl

**JESSES GIRL - CORY MONTEITH**

_Jessie is a friend__  
__Yeah, I know he's been a good friend of mine__  
__But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define__  
__Jessie's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine_

_And she's watching him with those eyes__  
__And she's loving him with that body I just know it__  
__And he's holding her in his arms late at night_

_You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl__  
__I wish that I had Jessie's girl__  
__Where can I find a woman like that_

_I play along with the charade__  
__There doesn't seem to be a reason to change__  
__You know, I feel so dirty when they start talking cute__  
__I wanna tell her that I love her__  
__But the point is probably moot_

_Cause she's watching him with those eyes__  
__And she's loving him with that body I just know it__  
__And he's holding her in his arms late at night_

_You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl__  
__I wish that I had Jessie's girl__  
__Where can I find a woman like that__  
__Like Jessie's girl__  
__I wish that I had Jessie's girl__  
__Where can I find a woman__  
__Where can I find a woman like that_

_And I'm looking in the mirror all the time,__  
__Wondering what anekatips she don't see in me__  
__I've been funny, I've been cool with the lines__  
__Ain't that the way love supposed to be_

_Tell me, where can I find a woman like that!_

_You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl__  
__I wish that I had Jessie's girl__  
__I want Jessie's girl__  
__Where can I find a woman like that__  
__Like Jessie's girl,__  
__I wish that I had Jessie's girl,__  
__I want I want Jessie's girl_

**CHAPTER NINE**

**JESSES GIRL**

Yahweh must really hate her…

She must have done something terribly bad in the past for her to be getting this kind of punishment and all because she went to bed with Finn…

CRAP...

She went to bed with Finn…

What was she thinking?

After all the years of self recrimination and anger and despite her vows of not giving him any space in her life anymore in any which way, everything still boiled down to the fact that she ended up on her back as she surrendered herself fully to him…

And for what?

Because he was jealous and she can't keep her fucking hands off him?

The exact same load of bullcrap that they went through over and over in the past and now it seems as if they're back to where they started once again…

Dammit… when will she ever learn?

Perhaps right about now, because the moment she woke up without Finn beside her to the incessant ringing of her doorbell, Karma came knocking and it came in the form of one Jesse St. James…

Jesse who is now standing in front of her door armed with that familiar smile on his face and those eyes that seem to probe into her soul that it took almost all her willpower to not get on her knees and beg him to forgive her because she was weak and she did something that she knows she absolutely shouldn't…

"I was wondering if you forgot something…"

He broke the awkward silence that had been lying thick around them ever since she opened the door and found him at her doorstep…

"Like all about me…"

He shrugged as he uttered the words teasingly…

He was obviously trying his best to appear flippant but Rachel knows him too well to know that beyond that obvious attempt at lightheartedness, there is also a tinge of hurt and accusation in his voice which he couldn't hide nor deny…

Getting back to her senses and overwhelmed with guilt about Finn, Rachel flings her arms around his neck as she squeezed him close to her but not before she noticed that moment of pause before he pulled her close to return her embrace…

"How could I forget you, silly? I'm sorry Jess…"

She mumbled into his neck…

_I'm sorry for sleeping with Finn…_

_Last week when we were fighting… I was so mad at you… I was so hurt that I wanted to make you feel as bad as I feel… _

And she can't help but think that maybe she is trapped in some kind of ground hog day where she always cheats on the boy she's with with another except that this time Jesse and her were not fighting and she had no reason to hurt him the way she's hurt Finn or the way Finn has hurt her…

_Maybe because she doesn't even care enough about him to even get mad about anything …_

_I knew you were all kinds of things but I never thought that you could be this mean… I never thought you'd make me feel like this…_

Perhaps she really is mean…

Maybe this is fates way of telling her to not mess with him and that sleeping with Finn was a mistake because every time they even go so much as near each other, everything just seems to break and unravel and somehow, people get hurt and in the end, they always end up more bruised and battered than when they have just started…

"What is it that you're sorry about?"

He pushed her tenderly away to look in her eyes… His gaze steady on hers as if wanting to read through her mind as he once again tries to reach that place that she had never, ever let him pass…

It was that look that was nearly Rachel's undoing…

That trusting, loving, tender stare that seem to remind her of how he put back together all the pieces of her broken heart after Finn dumped her….

That look that reminded her of how he deserved so much more than this because he's gone a long way from being the guy who had fried an omelet on her face to the guy who had held her hand and who loved her this much and brought back her self esteem…

"For - for not calling you that you had to fly out to see me…"

Jesse expelled a sigh of relief when he heard her answer…

There was not a day that he didn't think about her and Finn together and he has feared the worst on the way to see her… However even if for now he is satisfied with her answer, there is still an uneasiness that weighed deep inside his heart… A fear… that something's going on between them and THAT…he will never ever be ready to face or even to understand…

"That's just one of the reasons"

He said quietly… Rachel tipping her head to the side to look at him curiously as he cupped her face in between his hands and gave her a tender peck…

"I missed you Rach-"

And he released her long enough to grab something out of his pocket and put it on her neck…

A necklace that he had bought specifically for her with his name on it and the fucking irony of it all was not lost on Rachel because the moment he put it on she already felt how it was weighing down on her…

It felt so out of place…

Like it doesn't belong there…

Like it's burning her skin as if it knows that she will never ever wear another name again as proudly as she did all those years ago the way that she did with Finn…

"Jesse-"

She said breathlessly…

"You - you shouldn't have… You don't have to come all the way here to do this… I can't-"

He gave her a humorless smile… One that made her notice how terribly drawn out and haggard he looked as he sat down on her sofa…

"I had to Rach- I was going insane without you-"

There was an aching sadness to his voice that made Rachel forget the necklace as she looked at Jesse compassionately…

There was a longing in his eyes that was inexplicable which made her feel even worse than she now already feels about going behind his back and lying to him…

She sat on the sofa beside him as she caressed his back awkwardly… wanting to give him comfort as he laid his head tiredly on his shoulder as he leaned against her and closed his eyes…

"God Rachel… You make everything seem right … no matter how tired or sad I am… just knowing you're there is enough to make everything fall into place…"

And Rachel just patted him nervously and bit her lip because REALLY? What does she say to that?

"How's it going with Finn?"

She stiffened as he mumbled the words tiredly…

Her thoughts jumbling all around themselves as she sat stumped by his question simply because she herself doesn't know what she really thinks and how it's really going on between them…

"Don't tell me you got back together with him?"

He gave off a short chuckle as if it was something impossible but his voice sounded hollow even to his own ears…

He opened his eyes when Rachel remained unresponsive…

His eyes scanning her face as she averted her gaze and he tried to mask his fears by plodding on teasingly…

"Lie to me Rachel… Lie if you have to… and then make me believe it but don't tell me you went back to him… I swear I couldn't stand it…"

He made it appear as if he was joking but she can feel the sincerity and steel behind his voice as he finished his sentence…

Yep…

She is about to burn in hell and she is not surprised at all that it is all because of Finn…

As Rachel stayed quiet, Jesse snuggled his face closer to her collarbone as if finding comfort in her warmth…

"Just let me stay here today Rachel, please? Just for today? Just let me rest and -"

"HEY RACH! I got us some bagels and milk and -"

Finn stood hugging the grocery bag containing the breakfast that he was about to surprise Rachel with by the doorway… His shouts petering out and the smile that was previously plastered on his face quickly disappearing as he took in the scene before him…

Jesse was in Rachel's living room and he had his goddamn head on her shoulder and she had her arms wrapped around him…

He would have liked to believe that everything was just a huge misunderstanding and that he is just having some sort of nightmare but the moment that Rachel looked at him with a determined expression on her face and as he watched her grip Jesse's hand even tighter he knows that he is in deep shit and that despite last night, this morning might not exactly turn out to be the way that he had imagined…

"FINN! I thought our script rehearsal was for tomorrow… "

She said in an overly bright manner… her smile blinding and her tone of voice pleasant as if nothing was amiss and like she didn't just rip his heart right out of his chest, squeezed it hard and then stomped on it until it disintegrates…

"Look who's here! It's Jesse!"

LIKE HE FUCKING CARES!

What was she expecting?

That he'd greet the asshole with a hug and a huge smile on his face like a long lost friend when he just wanted to wipe that smug smile off his face as he put his arms proprietarily against HIS girl to pull her even tighter the first moment he saw him?

JESSE FREAKIN ST JAMES CAN FUCKIN' KISS HIS ASS FOR ALL HE CARES…

He just wanted to be alone with Rachel…

To talk to her and ask her what the hell is going on and after that, probably spirit her off to somewhere far away preferably to a place where St. What's-his-face can't follow…

"We need to talk Rach…"

There was a steely determination in Finn's voice…

A tone that he seldom use that had Jesse frowning in confusion and Rachel raising her head to finally return his stare as if telling him to just let it rest and that now was not the right time…

"Rach? What-What's going on?"

Jesse turned his head from side to side as he looked at them from one to the other before fixing an intense stare on Rachel quizzically…

"I- I- think Finn's a little upset coz we have this really difficult scene coming up and I promised him we'd read through our lines before we go to the set..."

She rolled her eyes playfully before giving out a nervous laugh…

She doesn't even know where all these lies are coming and she wanted to stop badly but the words just seem to come out of her mouth even before she finished thinking and it was as if she can not do anything but say it out loud…

"I didn't know you were coming so I wasn't able to tell him that I'd just meet him there and that perhaps we should just take a rain check… Right, Finn?"

Finn remained quiet… his hands hugging the grocery bag tightly and the nervous ticking in his jaw the only sign of the amount of restraint that he's exerting to remain emotionless as in front of her, Jesse stood unblinking… His face drawn into a mask that makes it difficult for her to see if he really believes all these bull she's spinning as she half expected both guys to just lunge at each other and start beating each other to a pulp at any given moment…

"I- I see…"

Jesse broke the silence, breaking out into a grin as he gave a slow nod before taking his arms off around Rachel's shoulders…

"Sorry Hudson… didn't want to put a damper on your plans…Given that you even brought breakfast and all…"

He looked at the grocery bag that Finn was holding before giving out a sarcastic smirk that had Finn digging his nails against his palms just to stop himself from throwing the bag at him before pounding him to the ground…

"Listen, since I have to go and freshen up babe, perhaps you can bring Hudson here to his car and then after you can probably text your director that you're coming in today a little LATER?"

The suggestive tone of his voice was not lost on Finn as he gave him another smug look that almost drove him to the breaking point while Rachel avoided his gaze…

"Thank your lucky stars that I'm feeling generous and that I trust Rachel so you've got 5 minutes…"

Jesse called off threateningly before walking away towards the bathroom…

And both of them watched him as he turned the corner and the moment that he was out of sight, Finn threw the bag to the nearest sofa and he paced around her living room floor for awhile before finally stopping and angrily shouting at her …

"WHAT THE HELL RACH? Are you playing some stupid sick game of revenge?"

Rachel's eyes widened in surprise at how loud Finn was before her gaze flew to the direction where Jesse was at as if to check if he heard anything…

"Finn… please… can't you just keep it quiet … Jesse is…"

She spoke in hushed tones and with gritted teeth as if he was a dirty little secret…

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT - I - I don't care Rach… I- I just want you…"

And as he took her hands and looked into her eyes, Rachel felt the nervousness that she was previously feeling wash away as she was consumed by red hot rage at how the old Finn and the one before her was still the same in thinking that he can just waltz back into her life at anytime and then expect her to follow blindly just because he said he was sorry like everything should just be forgiven…

"And that makes everything fine and perfect? Because you want me and because we shared a night of—of- SEX together? There is nothing between us Finn… NOTHING… Just a horrible past and heartache and -"

"And last night… "

She almost stomped her feet in frustration as Finn continued his advances…

"Aren't you listening to a word I said? That was—that was sex!"

He looked at her disbelievingly…

"Was it?"

Rachel felt her anger run out of steam as Finn looked on at her meaningfully…

"What do you want from me Finn? Why are you doing this to me - What have I ever done to you that makes you want to turn my life upside down like this? "

Finn turned his head to look at Rachel…

He knows that at this time, he's got all odds stacked against him…

He has no choice but to pull his ace out from his sleeve…

To resort to getting through to Rachel the best way he knows how…

"I want a chance Rachel… Just one freakin' chance… "

Rachel looked at him as if he's gone crazy…

"Has it occurred to you that I am seeing someone else? This isn't fair to Jesse and-"

"STOP BRINGING HIM INTO THIS!"

Finn ran his fingers through his hair in frustration as Rachel laughed humorlessly because if she doesn't she feels as if she'd just either do one out of two things which was to either shout or cry…

"Can't you be reasonable? Jesse is in the other room and he is important to me and can't you just think about him -"

He looked into her eyes…

"You weren't when you were in bed with me last night…"

Rachel bit her lip… lifting her face towards Finn to implore him to just take back what he said and to abandon whatever other insane plan he has in mind in the soonest possible time…

"Have you ever stopped to think that Jesse is my best friend -"

"Precisely my point… He is your best friend Rachel… that is different from love-"

Rachel scoffs…

"So what makes you any different? Are you saying that you can't live without me? That without me you'd die?"

Rachel had to stop to swallow back a hysterical laugh… torn between ire and mirth as he stood before her as he bugged her to get back together with him when before he can't wait to get her out of his life…

"Would you believe me if I say it's true?"

He said with all sincerity… Making Rachel hesitate for a second before she remembered everything that had happened and how he said the exact same thing countless of times in the past that she had almost lost track…

"HA! And you expect me to believe that? That you've been carrying a torch for me when you've chosen Quinn without a second glance and when you barely even bothered to look for me or to even send me a Christmas Card?"

There was a genuine hurt in her voice as she recalled the long lonely nights when she waited for him to apologize and get her back…

"SHE MEANS NOTHING TO ME! DAMMIT!"

He closed his eyes in frustration…

"I tried Rachel… Lord knows I tried to love her the way I love you but she doesn't have your smile or your lips or your eyes… YOU HAUNT ME…"

And she felt her heart stop as she stared at Finn in shock…

Finn looks into her eyes and softens his voice but not by much…

"And since we're having confession time here… it's your turn…"

"What- what do you mean?"

Rachel unconsciously backs down against the wall as Finn took a step closer towards her…

"Can you honestly say there is nothing between us?"

She averted her gaze…

"THERE IS NOTHING BETWEEN US…"

"And at our house at the swing during Kurt's party when you kissed me you felt nothing?"

"N—nothing…

"And on the set when we sang Faithfully and you hugged me and-…"

"NO!"

Rachel was running out of words… she knows she was clutching at straws as Finn fired his questions to her one after another…

But she can't allow herself to give in… never again… not now … not ever… not that Jesse is here to remind her that Finn is nothing but a part of her past … but is he?

"Can you honestly say that you love Jesse?"

Rachel turned her face away…

"Y-YES!"

There was a beat of hesitation to her voice before Finn brought his face closer to hers…

"Then what the hell where you doing in bed with me last night?"

Rachel drew a shaky breath… stuttering as she continued to hide behind her excuses…

"Well, it was just the heat of the moment… it was just the proximity and the time we spent together and we're normal human beings with normal desires so -"

"Don't lie to me! We couldn't get enough of each other in that bed, and you damned well know it! Can you honestly say right now that you have absolutely no desire to make love with me again, ever?"

"Y-yes…"

Finn brings his face inches away from Rachel's

"How would you like to give me five minutes to prove you're wrong?"

Rachel felt herself drowning in the depth of his stare before she broke the spell and pushed Finn away…

She doesn't know if it was the way he made her feel but it was as if a dam broke inside her as she lets out her frustration of eight years go as she ranted and shouted at him…

"Dammit! You've been around enough to know that you've always had women like Santana and Brittany and Quinn falling at your feet and I hate it that I am just like one of them… That I just have to look at you and I can't resist you no matter what… that every day for eight years since we've been apart, I promised myself that I would DIE first before I let you touch me and yet the moment I see you, all I can think of is how much I want you and missed you and -"

She clapped her hands over her mouth but she knew it was too late…

Finn's eyes were already lighting up and he was already giving out that lopsided smile and she knows that no matter what she says he already knows the truth and that she still feels something for him…

At that moment Jesse made his re-appearance at the end of the hall way breaking the moment and diffusing the intensity between them…

"Rach? Hudson's still here?"

He said incredulously before Finn straightens up to his full height and for the first time ever since Jesse and him met again he turned to address him as Rachel stood in the sidelines waiting with bated breath for what's next or whatever it is that he'd say…

"I was just telling her about her necklace…"

Jesse's face smoothed out into a smile as he beamed proudly while shrugging nonchalantly…

"I see you've developed some taste, Finn…"

And Finn gave him a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes…

"Oh, but you're mistaken… I was not actually thinking how pretty it looks but how cheap looking and ugly it really is…"

And as Jesse stood open mouthed in shock, Rachel watched in a mixture of surprise and giddiness as Finn turned to address her tenderly...

"See you on the set Rach… DON'T BE LATE…"

He emphasized the last words in an obvious throwback to what Jesse said awhile ago…

And as the door closed behind Finn and Jesse and her were left alone, Rachel remained staring at the wooden frame, riveted to the spot… Her mind trying to absorb everything he's said and everything that's happened and how despite how she's insane to even consider going back together with Finn there is still a part of her heart that wants to give the two of them a chance and Jesse or no Jesse she knows she will be a fool if she let her fears stop her from taking that shot…

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

_**I hope you didn't mind the longer chapter... I had all these thoughts about Jealous Finn which is my absolute fave so the words just came pouring :)...**___

I hope i made sense since it took a little longer to write this add to the fact that it's now 1230 AM where i am when i wrote the ending...

Let me know how you find this chapter! Really appreciate all your comments so just keep on leaving 'em! :)


	11. Secret

**SECRET - OMD**

_I got a secret and I can't explain __  
__All the time, I've waited for this day __  
__All along I was never in doubt __  
__I always knew it would never get out __  
__There are things that I cannot tell__  
__And there are things that you know damn well__  
__This is getting very hard for me__  
__I guess you'd better just wait and see___

_This is all, this is all__  
__You heard a message and the message was clear__  
__All the time you wipe away that tear__  
__And all I want is to hold your hand__  
__To see the sun and walk the sand__  
__You make me sad and you make me glad__  
__And now you see all my secret is this love__  
__Is love, Is love__  
__My secret is this love___

_Everyday you're always there__  
__You comfort me__  
__And make me feel it's worth my while__  
__And then I look around and you're not there__  
__And everyday you say you care and I'll beware___

_This is all, this is all___

_I've got a secret and I can't explain__  
__All I want is to hold your hand__  
__All along I was never in doubt__  
__To see the sun and to walk the sand_

**CHAPTER TEN**

**Secret**

Finn knew she would see him…

That it would only be a couple of hours after their emotional confrontation when she'd seek him out and tell him what she didn't get to finish and chances are she'd most probably be seething…

She would probably lash out at him and rant and rage and pretend that she did not mean what she said in the way he understood it and looking at her now with her hands folded across her chest, her eyes shooting daggers at him and with her chest heaving, it seems like he was not mistaken…

"Don't you dare smile at me that way Finn Hudson…You think this is a laughing matter?"

She admonished him from across his trailer…Her cheeks were flushed and her lips were set firmly in a thin line yet despite the fact that he knows how angry she is, he still just can't stop himself from grinning…

SHE MISSED HIM…

AND WANTS HIM…

And she never got to say it back but since he's been right on the spot about everything else this morning, he's pretty sure that just like him, she still loves him…

"You look beautiful when you're angry do you know that?"

He said tenderly…

The smile that he's been trying to control still playing about his lips as Rachel stopped her tirade in surprise over his unexpected response before she pulled herself together and reverted to her order of business…

"I AM NOT MESSING AROUND WITH YOU FINN!"

She burst out in frustration… Looking so much like a petulant little child that it was all Finn can do not to gather her in his arms and to smother her with kisses…

"I left Jesse at home and he's- he's- LIVID! It was bad enough that he almost caught us in bed this morning but for you to goad him even further -"

She waved her hands around the air frantically as if she was trying to find the words before closing her eyes in an attempt to calm herself down considerably…

"I- I thought we could be adults about this whole thing but obviously you don't even know the meaning of the word… I should have thought better than to think that I can speak about this topic like a matured person with you… and -"

Finn stopped himself from chuckling as he watched the play of emotions on her face…

He loves the way she moved…

The way she clipped her words when she was angry….

Fuck… He simply loves her…

Period…

Unable to resist the urge, he walked towards her…His gaze never leaving Rachel's as she slowly backed away like a scared little animal towards his dresser in a desperate effort to thwart his advances…

"and- and QUIT IT!"

She shouted nervously…

"Quit what"

He whispered… His eyes hooded with desire as he fixed her gaze on her lips as if he'd kiss her any minute…

"Quit looking at me as if you want to get inside my head- as if - as if you've seen me- you've seen me- _naked_…"

She uttered the last word in a secretive whisper…

He would have almost laughed out loud if not for the fact that their faces are only now inches apart from each other and if not for the fact that he finds the way she licked her lips to be way too distracting…

"But I have - And it is a sight, Rach… A sight that was even better than I imagined in my head over and over the entire time that we're not together… "

And his voice was filled with longing and wanting and Rachel groans before covering her face exasperatedly…

:"DAMMIT FINN! I cannot believe this! Let's just put our heads on straight and stop this!"

But she knows even before the words left her mouth that they already can't…

"But don't you see Rach? We can't… We can't stop anymore… Not when you want me as much as I want you…"

And It was as if he read her mind…

And he was right…

Finn was right….

They've been playing this silly game of cat and mouse ever since their paths crossed again and though she'd like to think that she came storming here to tell him to back off and leave her the hell alone, she knows that the reason why she was REALLY here right now in front of him was NOT because she was angry but because she NEEDED an excuse to see him…

So yes, she'd better stop…

Stop lying to herself and just admit once and for all that eight years is not enough for her to forget him because there's always been something between them…

Something that no matter how hard she tries to deny would still be there no matter how much time they spent apart…

Not eight years…

Not in this lifetime…

"This is crazy… I'm behaving like an idiot…"

She whispered under her breath as Finn felt her resistance flee when she pressed her forehead against his chest tiredly and he lifted her chin to look into her eyes before brushing his lips softly against hers…

"Kiss me back Rach… Kiss me back and i'll give you anything you want…. I'd give you the freakin' universe if that's what it takes… But if you'll have me back, I'll do much better than that…"

Rachel stared into his deep chocolate eyes… Her heart beating loudly against her chest as the once familiar feeling of hope and happiness threaten to overwhelm her just like it did when he first told her to break a leg and that he loves her in the wings of that dark, quiet stage…

"What else can you possibly give me if I take you back?"

She asked curiously and Finn lets out a slow smile…

"Happiness…"

Rachel felt tears fill her eyes… it was an answer that had been a long time coming but it was still something that she was not expecting…

Somehow she felt that Finn is feeling the same as she watched his adams apple bob up and down his throat as he looked at her with all the love that he feels for her written in his eyes…

"I'll give you the happiness that I wasn't able to give you when I broke your heart… I'd make up for all my mistakes- I'd give you anything you want— EVERYTHING you want….I come with it, of course. It's a package deal…You can continue your singing and acting career but we'd be a family…You'll win your Tony's and we'll have children ... I'd like six…But I'd settle for one. You don't have to decide now -"

And that was the time that she stood up on her toes and kissed him…

Finn's eyes widening in surprise before his hands clamped the back of her head holding her mouth to his while his other arm angled down across her back holding her hips tightly against his….

And Rachel was lost….

Locked to him from head to toe… possessed by his hands and mouth and tongue… she gave in…

She kissed him with all the pent up desire and frustration that she's felt over not having him beside her for the past eight years…Her hands sliding up inside his shirt and her fingers splaying wide of their own accord as they spread against the muscled warmth of his chest…

Finn moaned as his tongue stroked intimately against hers, his mouth forcing hers to open wider, and Rachel welcomed the invasion of his tongue, helplessly kissing him back with all the desperation and desire that she's feeling without holding back…

And when they parted and broke for air they were both breathing heavily as if they just finished a mile long race…

"Wow… that was - that was-"

Finn has his forehead against the top of her head… Rachel's face buried against his chest and her arms wrapped around his waist as they both tried to still their beating hearts

"Better than fireworks?"

She said teasingly in an obvious reference to the way that he described Quinn's kisses all those years ago that she never quite forgot…

He pushed her tenderly away to look at her face… His own etched with worry but a smile quickly making its way across it when he saw her humor filled gaze…

"WAY BETTER! CAN NOT EVEN COMPARE… NAH-UH! That was like a- Like a- Volcanic eruption! A- A- Nuclear explosion! The- The- Big Bang Theory!"

And she dissolved into a fit of giggles before hugging him tightly as if she never ever wanted to be apart from him again…

"How can you not break up with Jesse when you kiss me that way?"

He asked quietly, breaking the moment…

Unlike her though, there was a seriousness in his voice that was not present in hers when she took a jab at him about Quinn…

She knew that Finn had always been possessive and jealous when it comes to her…

However, unlike the ego that he had in high school where all that jealousy stemmed from, there seems to be a deep seated insecurity in him at this moment when it comes to her that she just wanted to wash away…

But how could she when there's still Jesse to think of?

Jesse whom right at this moment is at his hotel room probably knowing the truth and yet turning a blind eye to it simply because he loves her that much and because he doesn't want to lose her…

She took a deep breath… Inhaling Finn's scent as she squeezed him closer to her as if to seek comfort from that gesture that when she spoke again her voice was muffled against his chest…

"I'd- I'd get to it… I promise… Just - Just give me time…"

She lifted her eyes to look at him…

"For now can we- can we just keep everything on the down low until I settle everything with him?"

Finn averted his gaze away from her… His jaw clenching for a moment that Rachel thought he would never agree…

"Please? For me?"

And he rolled his eye in exasperation as he looked at her upturned face…

"DAMMIT! Alright! A week… and no less…"

He said begrudgingly in acknowledgment that where she's concerned he's always been weak…

And Rachel can't help but giggle at how he sounded so childish as if someone is planning to steal her away from him…

"It's not funny Rach! I just want to announce to the world that you're mine and stop all those idiots that declare their love for you all over the news like Theo Stockman and Landon Beard and-WHAT?"

Finn looked nonplussed as he watched Rachel wag her fingers at him with an amused look on her face…

"AHA! I knew it! How'd you know that I used to date those guys and that they liked me?

She raised her eyebrows at him playfully…

You were stalking me!"

She shouted triumphantly as she leaned forward against him conspiratorially…

"I- I WAS NOT!"

He said defensively…

"I just ACCIDENTALLY happen to buy everything that had you on it and follow all the shows that you're featured in and- Are you laughing at me?"

Finn said sternly as Rachel's shoulder shook with laughter…

"Where the hell do you get all these junk?"

She replied with merriment dancing in her eyes…

"I told you… The internet…"

He mumbled under his breath as he flushed deep red at how pathetic he sounded now that Rachel discovered that he stalks her and that he follows every move she makes…

But unlike the teasing and gloating that he was waiting to hear from her instead, his eyes widened in surprise as she put her hand against his cheek delicately…

The amusement that was previously in her eyes now replaced with tenderness as she fixed her gaze on him…

"I like it… I like it that you care enough to know what's going on with my life… Thank you Finn… for waiting for me all these years…"

And as she tiptoed on her feet to hug him tightly once again against her, Finn felt how his life is now complete and despite the fact that Jesse is still around, nothing can break the happiness he feels…

Not with Rachel in his arms and her hands wrapped firmly around him…

Not when he's looking forward to building a future with her that's filled with promise and hope and love and singing

With her…

His former Glee co-captain…

His duet partner…

His girl…

The love of Finn Hudson's life…

_**Rachel Barbara Berry**_…

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

_**How'd you like this chapter?**____** :)**_

I somehow felt that i was writing it all over the place but i hope i still made sense... Comments are much appreciated so please leave a note! I would love to hear from you!


	12. Run To Me

**RUN TO ME - NICK LACHEY**

_Over your head,__  
__Trying not to drown.__  
__Reaching for a breath,__  
__Before it drags you down.__  
__Caught in between,__  
__All the pain you feel,__  
__You lost control,__  
__Your letting go,__  
__But I never will._

_I'm holding on for you,__  
__I'm fighting for your life.__  
__And when your blinded by this jaded world,__  
__I'll be your eyes.__  
__Even if you fall,__  
__I won't let you break.__  
__When all the noise is telling you__  
__To run away,__  
__Run to me._

_Day after day,__  
__After all you seen,__  
__Its alright if you feel like unraveling.__  
__I'll be right here.__  
__I'm pushing out the walls,__  
__To find the place,__  
__Where you can say,__  
__Brave through it all._

_I'm holding on for you,__  
__I'm fighting for your life.__  
__And when your blinded by this jaded world,__  
__I'll be your eyes.__  
__Even if you fall,__  
__I won't let you break.__  
__When all the noise is telling you__  
__To run away,__  
__Run to me._

_When I was lost,__  
__Hanging on by a thread.__  
__I knew I could run to you,__  
__To find myself again._

_I'm holding on for you,__  
__I'm fighting for your life.__  
__And when your blinded by this jaded world,__  
__I'll be your eyes.__  
__And even when you fall,__  
__I won't let you break.__  
__When all the noise is telling you__  
__To run away,__  
__Run to me.__  
__Baby run to me_

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

**Run To Me**

Birthdays are supposed to be happy…

It's supposed to be festive and fun and crazy but how could it be that way when she is seated at Breadstix in front of her boyfriend (and if things go as planned today, soon to be ex) and she's very much aware that her (secret) lover will arrive just a few minutes later?

Really…

She wished she knew what Jesse was thinking when he invited Finn along for a celebration that he had initially planned for just the two of them or that Finn had listened to her about telling him no instead of yes when Jesse broached the suggestion in the first place…

Hell…

If not just for the good natured way that Jesse mentioned that he just asked Finn "for old times sake", she would honestly think that he's seeking some form of underhanded retribution for the way that they are sneaking around behind his back, except that she's sure that he's still completely in the dark about the goings on between them and that he doesn't even have a clue about what the real score is between Finn and her…

Or perhaps, that's just what she'd like to believe…

How could she be so delusional as to assume that just because Finn and her have officially gotten back together everything would just be flawless and easy and smooth sailing?

That just because they have found their way back to each other, everything would simply fall into place and just like a fairytale they'd now get to live their lives happily ever after?

In some ways, maybe they are…

Living life as if it was a dream as they spend their days encased in a bubble of never ending cheerfulness and exhilaration while they spend their nights wrapped up around each other…

A tangle of arms and legs that one can never tell where one of them ends and the other begins while everyday passes by in a cloud of happiness as they talk nonstop and share all their thoughts and fears and feelings until they are just both silenced because of the awe they sometimes feel at their overwhelming love for one another…

She wishes it was as perfect as it sounds…

That it would end there…

But there's still the blinding fact that despite that happiness, officially, Jesse and her are still very much together…

That simple detail that she should have ended about a week ago and which is now taking a toll on her conscience and her relationship with Finn as he impatiently waits for the day when she'd make a clean break except that she doesn't know how to get there or if she even knows where to begin …

"Happy Birthday Rachel…"

Rachel watched Jesse smile at her from across the candlelit table as he reached into his pocket before presenting her with a long, rectangular box…

There was so much happiness and expectation written on his face as he urged her to take his gift and unwrap it that when Rachel's eyes fell on the stunning sapphire and diamond bracelet that he had bought her, she suddenly knew…

She knew that fate had already decided for her and she's pretty sure that it's telling her that now is the time to be honest and there is no good a time as any to tell him how she really feels…

Now…

Even before she breaks his heart even more and betray him even further because just like the bracelet that he had just given her , she knows that she can never accept his love (not in the same way anyway) and that from the very beginning, Jesse had never been hers to really keep…

"It's beautiful…"

She whispered… Her chest contracting painfully and her stomach clenching into knots as tears burn the back of her eyes causing the glittering jewels in front of her to blur and waver in front of her gaze…

"I- I can't accept this Jess…"

She said softly… her voice barely audible amidst the noise in the busy restaurant as she swallowed against the lump in her throat while she watched Jesse's expression change from one of gladness to that of surprise and finally that of confusion…

"Why-Why not?"

He licked his lips nervously…

His throat suddenly feeling very dry…

But even before the words left his mouth, Jesse already knew that he need not even ask because he fucking well knows what her answer would be…

Somehow, he's known it all along…

Ever since Rachel told him that she's coming back to Lima to work with Finn…

He had sensed that this moment would come and he had been dreading it all this time and now that it's finally here it still hurts so damn much that he's finding it difficult to even breathe…

"So that's the way it is…"

He said slowly…

With finality…

She doesn't even have to put it into words for him to understand what she really means…

"Hudson has won…"

He ran his palms through his face before finishing off with a humorless laugh and Rachel took his hands in hers and looked at him with those big, brown, sad, pleading eyes…

"Jesse- Jess… listen to me… You'd always be my friend and I love you - Whether or not Finn and I get back together, you have to know that it wouldn't matter because we don't even stand a chance of being anything else aside from friends… You deserve so much more than a girlfriend who is with you but who can't seem to control her feelings for another man… Don't you understand?"

He threw her hands away… his hands trembling as he filled his glass with wine almost to the brim before drinking it back and fixing his gaze on hers…

"Fuck Rachel… Stop feeding me this shit… I love you too much to even consider giving you up … Not like this… Not with him…"

He took another drink before whispering softly under his breath…

"I swear ever since High School I've hated that fucking bastard…"

And even before Rachel can respond to that or even think of what to say, she lifted her head to see Finn arrive and push the restaurants doorway…

He was smiling at her as he made his way towards their table…

Completely unaware of the situation that he is getting himself into and of the malevolent stare that Jesse is throwing his way as he was consumed by the sight of Rachel and of how awesome she looked today…

"Happy Birthday Rach… You look smashing…"

He said with his signature goofy grin as he took a seat beside her but not before nodding politely at Jesse…

DAMMIT… Finn and her really belong together…

Rachel thought as she watched him…

Their sense of timing both suck donkey balls and she wished she could tell Finn what's up except that she can't, not when Jesse is just right in front of them…

"Doesn't she, Hudson? I bet every guy HERE wants to jump her…"

Jesses voice was dripping with sarcasm… His meaning not lost on Rachel as she half expected him to just stand up and grab Finn by the throat but he just took another drink and Rachel relaxes a little but not for very long…

"Well, Hudson… It's Rachel's birthday today and I bought her that VERY EXPENSIVE bracelet… Where's your gift?"

Rachel's breath hitched in her throat as she saw Finn's jaw harden a little as Jesse made a grand dramatic motion of pointing towards the bracelet that was now lying almost forgotten on top of their table…

"I didn't bring it here…"

He said firmly and Jesse laughed rudely…

"You mean you forgot, didn't you? You were always an ass when it comes to Rachel…"

He mumbled the last few words before waving at the passing waiter to order another bottle of wine and Rachel gripped Finn's thighs underneath the table in an effort to pacify him as she saw a muscle ticking at the side of his jaw…

"I mean I didn't bring it here…"

Finn's voice was steely…

His gaze was fixed on Jesse and Jesse meeting it head on as Rachel looked from one to the other anxiously while both guys mentally challenge each other in a silly game of stare down…

"C'mon guys! It's-It's my birthday so I'd want a toast…Why- Why don't we just talk about gifts later, hmmm?"

She sounded unusually loud even to her own ears…

Her voice cutting across the tension filled atmosphere as both men seem to have forgotten all about her as they continue to measure each other up…

Thankfully, Finn breaks the uneasiness of the situation… His eyes seeking out Rachel's as he lifts the icy bottle of champagne that is being chilled at the side of their table…

"Happy Twenty Fifth Birthday Rach… I'm sorry I missed the last eight years of them -"

And he smiled bashfully as he handed Rachel a glass…

A smile that was immediately replaced by surprise as Jesse's hand snaked between them to grab the glass that he just handed Rachel away from her grasp…

"Rachel gets sick on champagne…"

Jesse said confidently… A cocky expression pasted on his face as he addressed Finn but a wide smile spreading across it the moment that he fixed his gaze at her….

"Remember the time you got sick after that cast party that we had for West Side story?"

He whispered near her ear softly but not soft enough that Finn wouldn't hear…

He wagged his eyebrows up and down at Rachel as if they were sharing a private little secret and Rachel looked at him with a confused expression on her face…

"Not-Not sick exactly… just a little dizzy…"

She'd love to know what Jesse's playing at…

She's puzzled by the intimate tone that his voice had taken and by the sudden change in his behavior given how he had behaved so petulantly right before Finn had arrived…

"You were definitely dizzy… And a little giddy. You made me stand out on the balcony with you in the freezing cold. Remember, I gave you my coat to wear? And then Idina and Taye followed and we were the first to know that they just got engaged?"

He smiled at her warmly before glancing at Finn and talking to him in a coldly superior voice…

"Have you met Idina and Taye?"

Finn looked at him with a stone cold expression knowing exactly what Jesse is up to and awfully getting pissed at how he's making him feel that no one is as perfect for Rachel other than HIM…

Jesse laughed arrogantly…

"Of course you wouldn't! Idina and Taye are part of our Broadway circle of friends and I bet you haven't even been to Broadway…"

Rachel glanced worriedly at Finn and saw how he was gripping his table napkin so tightly that his knuckles had turned white…

Nervously, she hastily brought up a new subject which involved Finn as Jesse had four more glasses of champagne and contributed two more stories about people whom Rachel and him know from New York and whom obviously Finn wouldn't…

By the time the waiter brought the third round of drinks—and the fourth for Jesse— Rachel was well aware that he was drinking too much, too fast. That in itself wouldn't have been quite so alarming if he wasn't also determined to infuse the conversation with a steady stream of little anecdotes about things he and Rachel had done, most of them beginning with "Remember when..." and it was tough because she didn't always remember, and she was, moreover, becoming increasingly aware that Finn was getting extremely, extremely ticked off…

In fact, Finn wasn't just annoyed, he was already coldly furious. For three quarters of an hour he'd been forced to listen to St. Dickwad relating cute tales about himself and Rachel designed to point out to Finn that he was, and will always be, just a part of Rachel's life that happened mostly in the past…

Included among his stories were the time that Rachel won the Tony's for the first time and how HE was the one who comforted her as she cried uncontrollably out of joy backstage and another about how he's taken her to see Barbara Streisand in concert for the first time and how she hugged him so tight out of sheer joy that he almost couldn't breathe…

By the time he started talking about a charity auction that they have both worked on together, Rachel was also on her third glass of wine …

She needs to get drunk…

Her heart is pounding so heavily against her chest with both men squaring off in front of her that she swears if she doesn't tune out even for awhile she will just scream and tear her hair out like some crazy bitch…

"Tell me Finn… where did you go to college? I seem to have forgotten…"

And Rachel rolled her eyes as she took another swig from her wineglass…

"Ohio State…."

Finn replied in between clenched teeth…

"Oh, you mean here? In Ohio?"

He grimaced as if it was a bad thing…

"I went to UCLA… The University of California in Los Angeles? That's in Los Angeles if you're wondering…"

Jesse said with a smirk…

"So, what?"

Finn replied and Jesse seemed almost taken aback for awhile before he gave a casual shrug…

"Did Rachel tell you that we starred as leads in two Broadway plays together? We were scouted…. You had to line up and audition for this role didn't you?"

"Yes…"

He clipped… shaking his legs restlessly as he tried his best to control himself if only for Rachel's sake…

"Don't you know that Rachel is now Broadway royalty? I think we're the same in that way…"

He threw a victorious glance at Finn…

"And during high school, when you broke up and she chose me, Rachel almost gave up her virginity for me…"

And Finn threw his napkin down violently before shouting at the top of his lungs…

"Oh yeah? She REALLY GAVE IT UP TO ME! In fact, she fucking begged me to take it…"

Finn snapped back… baited beyond endurance as Jesse hissed and drew back his arm, throwing a punch at him while Rachel gasped in shock before shooting to her feet…

Finn barely saw it coming in time to avoid Jesse's attack…

Reacting instinctively, he threw up his left arm and swung hard towards him with his right...

Pandemonium erupted…

Women screamed…

Men jumped out of their chairs and Jesse crashed to the floor while white lights from cameras exploded in the background…

Rachel shouted from nearby for them to stop and Finn looked towards her at the exact moment that a fist connected with his eye while Rachel bent down in an attempt to help him off the floor….

Finn instinctively drew back his fist to return the blow but checked the motion when Rachel put her hands on his arms but not before his elbow connected with something hard behind him and he heard Rachel cry out…

"AWWWW… GODDAMIT!"

Suddenly, Finn was hurtling forward, plowing through the fleeing diners as he grabbed on unto Jesse's wrist to stop him from punching him again while bystanders appeared out of nowhere, crowding in for more shots...

"Shit!"

Finn muttered under his breath when he saw Rachel holding on to her eye crouched in a corner as avid kibitzers armed with their cellphones and cameras crowd in on her…

Finn was beside her in a flash…Throwing his jacket over her head and using his body as a shield to hide her from view of the cameras as he hugged her tightly against his chest…

"RACH! Let's get out of here…"

He yelled…

And suddenly Rachel felt herself being half lifted off her feet and shoved through the thick, excited crowd as they make their way towards the kitchen's swinging doors…

Jerking the door of Finn's truck open, Rachel shoved herself upward as she tried to crawl into the passenger seat just as the trucks engine roared to life.

The vehicle blasted out of the parking lot, tires screaming, careening around the corner…

And it was only then that Rachel realized that they have left Jesse in the restaurant and that he was nowhere to be found…

"CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! My publicist will kill me…"

And Rachel closed her eyes and the car remained silent all throughout their drive…

"Are you okay? Are you fine?"

Finn broke the quiet gingerly as he parked his truck in front of her house…

She saw a faint blush creep across his cheek as he watched her touch the tender area around her eye, perhaps out of guilt as he very well knows that the bruise already forming there was caused by none other than him…

"I have your coat and— "

Rachel didn't hear the rest of what he said…

Very slowly… very deliberately and with infinite satisfaction, she got out of the car and closed the door on him…

"RACH!"

Finn shouted as he rolled the window down… His face contorted in a look of confusion as he watched Rachel turn around…

"What's wrong babe? He- he goaded me and he- he started it and -"

"_I_ begged you? To take it? My virginity? Really, Finn?"

She drawled sarcastically and crossed her arms across her chest and she watched a blush creep from Finn's neck up to his cheeks as he bowed down his head in embarrassment…

"I—I just said that in the heat of the moment… I didn't mean it Rach… it was just that he was pushing me and I have to -"

Rachel leaned down against the open window and pressed her index finger against his chest…

"You, mister… should reflect on your actions and write me an apology letter because tonight you are in the doghouse…"

She almost burst out laughing as she thought how she was being unfair because truth be told, Finn was not really far off the mark and she can still clearly remember the way she chanted the word PLEASE like a broken record when they first did the deed… …

"BUT RACHHHHHHHHH! Baby! It's your birthday! And what about - what about-"

He wailed like a five year old before looking around him to check if anyone was listening then he whispered to her clandestinely…

"_What -What about birthday sex?"_

And she had to bite her cheek to REALLY stop laughing at that…

At how cute he looked with that disappointed look on his face…

And though she'd like to make him suffer just a teeny, tiny, weeny bit further she knows she had to give him some leeway when she saw the downcast expression on his face…

"There's always next year anyway… And Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and -"

She whispered in his ear until she has completed all the days of the week…

She then gave him a seductive wink and a peck on his cheek and then she walked away …

It was not long before she heard his voice ringing out from across the almost empty driveway…

"RACHEL BARBARA BERRY! HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YOU'RE A STAR, YOU'RE MINE AND I LOVE YOU!"

And she let out a wide grin as she remained with her back turned on him… her hands lifting up in a wave as she acknowledged what he said and she swears she could almost see him smiling so widely like the cat who got the cream (despite the lack of birthday sex) as he put his truck in gear and drove away…

And the moment he's gone, that was the only time that she remembered how the entire night has basically been a series of disasters …

The only time that she took a peek in the mirror and saw how her hair was standing straight out on one side and the other looking like it had been arranged by an electric mixer…

The only time that she noticed how her jackets sleeve is ripped at one side and how it is now hanging drunkenly off her shoulder…

And that's when she really laughed…

Laughed as if she'd never stop…

Because despite all that, she's never had a night which could have been anymore perfect…

Because they are now free and she is his star and she's his and he loves her…

HE REALLY, REALLY LOVES HER…

Gosh…

This is just her awesomest, awesomest birthday ever…

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

_Ever had one of those days when everything sucked and yet the moment you see that person who is most special in your life everything somehow just feels so right?_

_I've had... and thus, this chapter... :)_

_I hope you liked it... Leave a review pretty please? As that would make my already awesome day more awesome (if that's even possible!) Love to hear your thoughts!_


	13. Chasing Cars

**CHASING CARS - SNOW PATROL**

_We'll do it all Everything On our own  
We don't need Anything Or anyone  
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?  
I don't quite know How to say How I feel  
Those three words Are said too much They're not enough  
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?  
Forget what we're told Before we get too old Show me a garden that's bursting into life  
Let's waste time Chasing cars Around our heads  
I need your grace To remind me To find my own  
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?  
Forget what we're told Before we get too old Show me a garden that's bursting into life  
All that I am All that I ever was Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see  
I don't know where Confused about how as well Just know that these things will never change for us at all  
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world? _

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

**Chasing Cars**

She knew it would get out sooner or later…

She just didn't expect that it will be this big or this scandalous that her agent would give her a call and yell at her at 6 o clock in the morning…

They should have been more careful…

She should have known better…

Letting out a sigh and wrapping a towel around her naked body, Rachel steps out of the shower and grimaced as she caught a glimpse of the headline of the newspaper lying in a crumpled heap on her bedroom floor where she threw it in disgust this morning…

On the front page was a picture of her smiling broadly for the cameras in a press conference where she said that Finn is the perfect gentleman when asked to describe him and yet another about eight months ago when she said the exact same thing when asked about Jesse…

As if making a mockery of her words, a photograph of the three of them taken just last night was featured right below it… (Finn was throwing a punch, Jesse was grabbing on to his collar and Rachel was yelling) …

It was topped by a screaming headline that read GENTLEMEN NO MORE in big, black, bold letters and if she only knew during those interviews how her words would come back to haunt her and bite her in the ass, she would have chosen instead to take the high road rather than incriminate herself by opening her mouth during those moments…

Kicking the newspaper aside and shaking her head in frustration, Rachel absentmindedly turns on the TV in the hopes that Jay Leno can somehow make her forget the mess she's in or that the white noise can drown out her thoughts as she prepared for her day and what's yet to come for that morning…

"_So what about that brawl between Rachel Berry, Jesse St. James and Finn Hudson huh? Since when was Fight Club on Broadway? Dueling for a lady's affection is long dead gentlemen… This is not the 1800's!"_

GODDAMIT!

So much for that thought…

Turning off the TV violently and letting out a muffled curse at the sound of her doorbell ringing insistently from downstairs, Rachel puts on shorts and a tank top before marching to her front door and flinging it wide open…

(She swears she is not a violent person but if it happens to be the press out there, she can't trust herself not to cut someone with razors given the way that things are going…)

"WHAT?"

She growled...

Her breath hitching in her throat and her words dying on her mouth as she caught sight of Finn leaning gorgeously against her doorway …

He was scruffy and looking like he just got out of bed with his white shirt and jeans and aviator sunglasses…

He looks rough and mysterious and sexy and suddenly all Rachel can think about was how they should have had sex last night instead so that she could have woken up next to THIS rather than the disaster that is messing with her head and threatening to ruin her day even if it was still way too early…

As if reading exactly what's on her mind, Finn grinned at her seductively and Rachel felt herself melting… The events of last night forgotten as a blush makes its way across the base of her neck up unto her cheeks as Finn sweeps a lingering gaze from the tips of her bare toes up to the crown of her hair which was still a little bit damp coming from her shower…

"Morning…"

He whispered seductively… His lips landing on hers for a slow, burning kiss which left her thoughts just a little bit muddled before he swept inside her house and then plopped on her couch like nothing was the matter…

"I'm starved babe… you have any breakfast?'

He smiled at her devilishly…

Shaking her head as if to get a hold of her senses… Rachel glared at Finn with annoyance as she took in the sight of him looking so relaxed and unfazed like they are not in one hot, big mess as he lounged around in her living room couch…

"Is it? A good morning?"

She crossed her arms across her chest and she swears she caught him sitting straight up not because he wants to listen but to get a better view of her boobs given the way that his stare unconsciously drifted down towards that direction without even thinking…

"I'm up here Finn!"

She nagged at him…

Finn snapped his gaze to look at her face and his brows knit in concern as he took in the sight of her stoic face and at how she seems to be shooting laser beams at him with her eyes while tapping her foot impatiently against her floors carpet…

"Rach… what's wrong? Is this still about last night?"

He groaned...

"I swear I'd make you that fucking letter…"

And he threw his head back against her couch as if THAT should be their biggest problem…

"Wrong? Oh No Finn… Whatever gave you the idea that there is something wrong? Just because my face had been splashed all over the newspapers and reporters are painting me as a two time hoochie who dates BOTH of my boyfriends while getting into barroom brawls and fistfights doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with me… Why would there be something WRONG when everything is just great and fine and dandy!"

She emphasized the last word while giving a short pump of her fists and Finn smiles in remembrance of how her drama queen antics used to drive him crazy…

(Not anymore obviously, as now he just finds everything she does cute and adorable and endearing even when she is just like now, somewhat over reacting…)

"Finn Hudson… don't you dare smile and think that just because I let you in that I have already forgiven you… This is all your fault… every time I come near you, bad things start happening to me…"

She narrowed her eyes at him while muttering under her breath and Finn once again tried to hide his smile but he was just so happy being around her that he can't stop himself from grinning…

"Bad things? Like what?"

He asked flirtatiously…

"As if you had to ask…"

Rachel scoffed and threw her hands up in the air before starting to pace around the living room floor dramatically…

"Well, there was the whole Christmas debacle when you left me by myself in that tree lot… and then there was the torture that Quinn put me through for most of my high school life just because she thinks that I seduced you and forced you to break up with her against your will…"

She murmured under her breath as she recalled events in the past which made Finn just a little bit fraught with guilt as he acknowledged that yes, because of him, life had not exactly been very easy for one Rachel Barbara Berry…

And yet she's still here…

Opening her heart up to him once again…

Putting her trust in him and believing in him despite the way he's let her down time and time again and he's never felt luckier than ever that after all these time, he still has her…

"And now… Now, before we saw each other again, everybody admired me for my talent and my grace and my wit and now I'm featured in newspapers as if I'm a heroine of a big soap opera that's unfolding right before the people's very eyes… I used to go to awards nights and fundraisers and charity auctions and now I get involved in fistfights in small town restaurants not to mention… THIS!"

She pointed to her eyes to reveal her bruised eyes to Finn which was not so noticeable if only she didn't bring his attention to it…

Looking at her with a concerned expression and standing up to walk over to Rachel, Finn cupped her face in his hands before running his thumb over the faint blue smudge that can be seen above her right cheek tenderly…

"I'm sorry I hit you babe… You know I didn't mean to… DAMMIT… I hate that I'm so tall and you're so small and that I'm so clumsy and idiotic that I didn't even see you…what are you using to hide it?"

"C-Concealer… W-why?"

Rachel looked at him with a confused expression as Finn gives out a soft chuckle… He then takes off his sunglasses to reveal an identical bruise that is situated just right under his left eye and Rachel gasped in surprise at how he's sporting a way bigger shiner…

"Because I'd like to borrow some to hide… THIS!"

Rachel stared at him for awhile… Her brows knitted with worry as she looked at his disfigured face and then as if suddenly realizing how funny their situation is, she started to giggle…

A giggle that erupted into a full on laugh as Finn laughed along with her pulling her close to him in a hug while Rachel burrowed her face into his chest and the two of them just laughed even harder….

"Jesse sure does pack a punch…"

She said once their laughter had died down… Pulling a little away from him and leaning back against his arms to touch his eyes, letting her fingers drift softly against the tenderness on his face as if by doing that she can make his pain go away…

"I'm sure I did better … He would have-"

"I love you…"

She whispered unexpectedly from out of the blue…

From out of nowhere…

And he stopped mid sentence, temporarily at a loss for words… A disbelieving expression on his face as he finally heard from her what he has long been wanting to hear and yet he was afraid to even breathe in fear that the moment he does, he'd find out that she'd take it back again…

"What? You heard me Finn Hudson… I love you… Do you know how long I've been wanting to say that? "

She said with an almost embarrassed smile on her face…

And he shook his head slowly as if he was still in a daze…

"Ever since the day we saw each other again… "

She lifted emotion filled eyes to him and he swears he can see the love she feels for him shining through her eyes …

"This is the greatest gamble of my life and you've hurt me enough that I'm scared as hell but I love you so much that I believe you'd do everything in your power to make sure that you'd never hurt me in any way or any form ever again…"

"Rach…"

He said breathlessly…

"Promise me Finn…"

And he kissed her instead because he does not trust himself to say a word because if he does, he knows that he would just fucking cry…

He would fucking bawl in front of her and behave like some kind of pussy because he loves her so much that he feels that if he has to live his life without her again he would just shrivel up and die…

He closed his eyes and rests her forehead against hers…

Their chest heaving not just with the kiss that they just shared but perhaps because of the emotions that they have long repressed and which were threatening to consume both their souls right at this very moment…

"After - After the movie is finished… Will you- Will you move in with me?"

He doesn't even know where that came from…

Perhaps it had been at the back of his mind ever since he saw her again or maybe ever since she left when he realized that he would do everything in his power to make sure that he can have her back in his life again…

"B-but… I'm in New York and you live here… you are just starting with your career and—"

There was a note of hesitation in her voice…

A beat of a pause as if she was convincing herself that what he's telling her was too good to be real…

"I'd move there… I'd stay with you…"

He replied without missing a beat…

"Y-you said you want children… what If I can't have any?"

"Then we'll adopt… "

"What if I don't want any?"

"Then we'll not adopt…"

"What if I say I want you to stop working?"

"Then I would…"

And she looked up at him with eyes that seem afraid to trust…

She was pinning all her hopes and dreams on him all over again and everything was just too fast and intense and too real…

Her mind was screaming at her to get away and not to listen as he weaved this story of a future for both of them that was everything she ever wished for because if she ended up all over with her heart broken she might never have the strength to walk away from him again or to leave him...

Ever.

"You just don't know what I'm willing to do for you… "

He murmured… Tucking a stray piece of hair against her ears, his smile tender…

"I told you I'd give you anything…"

He chuckled ruefully…

An embarrassed look on his face as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly while smiling at her…

"Fuck… this is not the way I wanted to propose Rachel… I don't even have the ring that I was supposed to give you yesterday for your birthday…"

PROPOSE?

RING?

She wanted to take things slowly…

To take it one step at a time and to have confidence that this time she has control over this newly rediscovered relationship with Finn but the truth of the matter is with him, she never had any…

There were only feelings and emotions and blessed, wonderful insanity…

She had spent so long chasing after him… day after day, night after night…

Trying to prove herself, better herself, make him see the love he had for her inside.

It had been hell, having him leave her over and over… running… always running…

Towards Quinn, towards Santana, and then back to Quinn all over …

But now she gives up trying to remember.

Whatever happened in the past, it wasn't that important... What was important was that Finn had never given up on her…he had followed her, despite all of the obstacles that were laid in their path….All because he loved her and knew that eventually they would end up here like this…

Together…

"Are you - are you asking me to get married?"

He nodded slowly… Swallowing the lump against his throat as he stared at her looking up at him with tear filled eyes…

"Hell Rach… I'm sorry for the most unromantic proposal ever… You deserve candlelight and flowers and me kneeling down on one knee and not when we're all over the tabloids and I'm here at your house asking you for breakfast…"

He threw his hands up in the air in exasperation…

"Shit… I'm such an idiot… I was not supposed to tell you like this…like right now but I just love you so much and you told me you love me too that it just slipped out and-"

She shook her head vigorously as she choked back on a sob…

"It's perfect…"

She whispered…

"I wouldn't have it any other way…"

And she's never loved him now more than ever…

Even if the entire world came crashing down around them…

She knows Finn is the one for her…

He always had been…

He always will be…

And just like that they were all over each other… his hands roaming all over her body as he unbuttoned her shorts… both of them frantic with need… hungry for each other as if the moment they stop kissing, everything would turn out to be a dream…

Their lovemaking was wild, feral almost… Finn lifting Rachel up against the wall as she wrapped her legs around him… His face buried into her neck as he joined his body with hers as her fingers dig into his back and he slammed her against the wall and Rachel lets out a gasp..

"I love you Finn…"

And as he entered her again, she lets out a low moan…

"I have never stopped…"

She felt herself floating…

Floating unhindered on the sea of warmth that was flowing from his body into hers, losing herself in his arms…

Her thoughts were disjointed, disconnected from her body, barely thoughts but just sensations…

Emotions…

As waves of passion flowed through her body, memories surfaced… images from their past and feelings that they've shared...

Picnics in an auditorium…

Pink bowling balls…

Stolen kisses in the stairway…

Waiting for their turn in the wings of a darkened stage…

_I love you…_

She had said it to him over and over …countless times… even when she had hated him, or he'd been deaf to her pleas and he needlessly kept them apart…

But everything pales to the love she feels for him right now…

And she doesn't know if it's right but they've gone through so much heartache that she feels that they have nowhere to go but up…

That was her last thought as the frenzy ended…

As she laid spent, asleep in his arms, she prayed that everything will be alright…

A prayer that seemed to have remained unanswered because as Finn's phone rang and he looked at her with worry before putting the phone close against his ear, she wished she knew that at that time, at that very moment something has happened that would cause her world to shatter and to once again fall apart…

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

_I have somewhat started on this installment to be mostly fluff and as a filler chapter but somehow it seemed to write itself towards the ending that's why i feel it's a little disjointed... _

_However, i hope you still enjoyed it as much since it will be pivotal in setting up future scenes going towards this story's ending... _

_Comments are appreciated..._

_Apologies also if there was a slight delay in posting as i am currently addicted to writing FinChel and Puckleberry oneshots and i have tons of ideas for it so my head is kinda buzzing... :)_

_(In fact, i have already posted some which is also in this thread so do check it out if you have the time... I will be posting more in days to come...)_

_I have also started on an initial draft of another FinChel futurefic to replace this one when it ends, where they ended up married and divorced and yet they still love each other very much..._

_I'm quite excited about the premise as it's a relationship wherein they're not lovers but they can't also be called friends and yet they hang out all the time and they figure very largely in each others lives and that's how they rediscover and get to admit that they have never stopped loving each other..._

_I hope i can share it with you guys soon and i'd love to hear your thoughts about it like if you would read something from me with a premise like that? Hope to read your comments!_


	14. If This Was A Movie

**IF THIS WAS A MOVIE - TAYLOR SWIFT**

Last night I heard my own heart beating  
Sounded like footsteps on my stairs  
Six months gone and I'm still reaching  
Even though I know you're not there

I was playing back a thousand memories baby  
Thinking about everything we've been through  
Maybe I've been going back too much lately  
When time stood still and I had you

Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You would, you would if this was a movie  
Stand in the rain outside til I came out

Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You could, you could if you just said you're sorry  
I know that we could work it out somehow  
But if this was a movie, you'd be here right now

I know people change and these things happen  
But I remember how it was back then  
Locked up in your arms and our friends are laughing  
Cause nothing like this ever happened to them

Now I'm pacing down the hall  
Chasing down your street  
Flashback to a night when you said to me  
Nothing's gonna change, not for me and you  
Not before I knew how much I had to lose

Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You would, you would if this was a movie  
Stand in the rain outside til I came out

Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You could, you could if you just said you're sorry  
I know that we could work it out somehow  
But if this was a movie, you'd be here right now

If you you're out there, if you're somewhere, if you're moving on  
I've been waiting for you wary since you've been gone  
I just want it back the way it was before  
And I just want to see you back at my front door

And I say  
Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You would, before you said it's not that easy  
Before the fight, before I left you out  
But I take it all back now

Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You would, you would if this was a movie  
Stand in the rain outside til I came out

Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You could, you could if you just said you're sorry  
I know that we could work it out somehow  
But if this was a movie, you'd be here right now

You'd be here right now  
It's not the kind of ending you want to see now  
Figure out a better ending  
I thought you'd be here right now

**CHAPTER ****THIRTEEN**

**If this was a movie**

It's like a scene out of a movie.

Much like the one where they're filming where the hero and heroine stand in an empty park, staring at each other except that this was real life and they were not in the park but in the middle of Finn's driveway…

The night was eerily quiet…

The atmosphere undisturbed except for the occasional barking of the dog from next door and neither of them speak as he held her wrist loosely in his grasp as if he was afraid that if he lets go, she'd run away at any given moment…

Cue sad violin music…

She shouldn't have trusted him…

She should have known better when she woke up to cold, empty sheets and when he didn't show up for filming today that something was wrong and she should have trusted her instincts that somehow it was about Quinn…

It was always about her…

Even after eight years and when she had given him her heart all over, she is still under her shadow and she will just be forever second best when it comes to Finn…

"Rach… Let me explain… It is not what you think- She ran away from home and-"

He speaks first…

His tone pleading as he played the role of the hero to the hilt…

His eyes begging her to understand him as if there was anything more to be said when the truth is out there staring her in the face…

Too bad she wouldn't listen…

Not after she found Quinn in his bed and in his bedroom sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware of the scene that was now playing out just outside Finn's window, once again, all because of her…

"NO! You don't get to ask me for ANYTHING… There is nothing more to be said Finn… We are over…"

He blinked slowly as if he was having difficulty letting her words sink in…

His chest constricting painfully as he watched the determination in her eyes and his throat choke up with desperation as realization sinks in that this time they may have really reached the end…

"Wh-What do you mean?"

They're even working the shy-oblivious-"please-don't-do-this" angle into this scene, too.

But Rachel as the female lead is quicker than that…

She catches the glint of understanding in his eyes and she lets out a humorless laugh…

"You_ know _what I mean, Finn… It was a long time coming… Somehow we are just so stubborn that we can't get a hint that perhaps we're really not meant at all for each other…"

And he felt his knees weaken…

And just like in the movies, he fights back…

And the director lets him…

At least, for a little while…

"Don't do this to us Rachel… I know it looks awful but if you'd only give me your trust -"

She cuts him off fiercely…

"THAT'S THE PROBLEM FINN! I CAN'T!

Fresh tears are now beginning to well in her eyes as she stood in front of him dejected and heartbroken…

He looks away, hurt and confused before meeting her eyes in an intense soul-piercing gaze…

The wind howls around them ferociously…

Whipping at their hair and at their clothes as they stand face to face as if it was signaling that right here at this moment they have finally reached the beginning of the end…

"You've- You've never really forgiven me have you? You still believe that I am the person I was before...

He runs his fingers through his hair…

His voice full of pain and agony as understanding slowly began to dawn on him…

"I thought you love me"

He said pleadingly…

As if he was begging her to tell him just that but she can not do anything but look away…

She can't answer…

_Not unless she lies, but she's the good girl in this scene._

She couldn't breathe…

Couldn't even speak…

Because after everything they had been through and after fighting so hard for each other, _this is it_.

He sighs, running a hand through his hair.

Neither of them wants it to end like _this_.

But sometimes, life gets in the way of the fairytale, and this is reality coming back to kick them in the face.

She frees herself from his grasp and she starts to walk away,

His shouts stop her in her tracks, piercing the silence of the early morning...

"Go ahead Rachel… Walk away… That's what you do best anyway…"

Her entire body is trembling with disbelief- anger-_ rage_…

The male lead stares at her, challenging her with his eyes….

His thoughts reverberate for the viewers to hear…

_Fight for me Rachel. Fight for us._

And the climax of the scene begins.

"You're supposed to stay Rach… You're supposed to ask me why and how and when But you gave up before you even tried!"

He shouted…

And she walked furiously up to where he is until she was standing so close to him that she can feel his breath against her face…

"Don't you think I've tried? I've been trying so hard to trust you but you've hurt me too much that I just can't…I'm sick and tired of being afraid, Finn! Of always feeling as if I would never be enough! So I'm sorry if seeing Quinn again brought back all those old feelings and I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted, because Quinn or no Quinn, I've realized now that this is what _I_ want"

Her words sting Finn physically…

Making him take a step back, his eyes wide with hurt…

"I can understand if you don't trust me Rach… But I just wish somehow, you've trusted yourself and that you believed in our love long enough…"

Rachel looked as if she almost wanted to take her words back.

_Almost._

Cue coincidental downpour of rain.

They're soaked and they're shivering, but it's not just from the cold.

"Is this what you really want?"

He whispered…

"This is our last chance Rach… Please? Just hear me out and just listen to me…"

Finn's voice was barely audible above the rush of water…

Thunder sounds off in the distance…

Grumbling loudly as if it was also crying over the direction that their love has once again taken…

"_I can't… I want to but I just can't…_"

She whispered brokenly and their eyes meet…

Finn feeling his eyes burn and knowing that the wetness on his face was not just the rain streaming down on it…

He nods, swallowing his pain, along with what's left of his heart.

Like any other self-respectable lead would do, he steels himself…

He gives his leading lady one last broken look before he turned on his heels and walked away…

And as the doors closed in on him, Rachel was left standing in the middle of the empty street, wondering to herself if she really did the right thing…

She cries her heart out as the screen fades to black...

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

_I know... i know... why should i break them up when everything is just turning out roses between them, but what's romance without a little drama? :)_

_I hope you still enjoyed reading through this chapter though even if it was mega angsty..._

_On a last note, i think i have drawn out this story long enough that i will be ending it in about 2 or 3 chapters which may or may not include an epilogue..._

_I just want to thank everyone who have stuck with this story from day one and i just want to let you know that your comments, appreciation and suggestions have really helped me a lot in terms of inspiration with this FF..._

_I hope that you would still read through more of my works especially my next Finchel Futurefic/AU..._

_I'd love to hear from you so do please leave a comment... :)_


	15. When You're Gone

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

_**This installment is supposed to be two chapters but since I have not released anything for quite a time and i received numerous requests to not make the FinChel separation drag on, i have decided to release both in one go...**_

_**As you can tell, we have reached the end for THE LAST GOODBYE but i might still be coming up with an epilogue chapter to round off the chapters to 15... It had been quite a ride and I'm just glad that all you guys decided to stick with this story...**_

_**I hope you'd watch out for my next FinChel AU fanfic which i'd release once i'm done with the epilogue of TLG... Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart...**_

_**Just a note on this chapter... I hope you guys can play the song when the italicized lyrics appear so that the emotions i'm trying to convey in that part be heightened as you read through it with the help of the music... You can just search for WHEN YOU'RE GONE by AVRIL LAVIGNE on Youtube…**_

_**I know you'd enjoy reading this chapter more when you do...**_

_**Reviews are encouraged so do leave a note on how you liked the ending!**_

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen  
When You're Gone**

She had always wondered if one dies of a broken heart…

She's thought about it too many times over in the past when Finn left her but this was the only time that she is truly convinced that maybe heartbreak will REALLY be the end of her…

Sitting in front of her dresser with a blank expression on her face, Rachel put on the finishing touches to her make up as she prepares to attend the wrap party for the film that she's been shooting with Finn …

She looked Beautiful…

Glamorous…

Serene…

A testament if ever there was one to how good of an actress she really is because her outward appearance totally belies the anguish that is now going on inside her heart…

Putting down her blush brush with a heavy hand, Rachel stared at herself in the mirror as Finn's voice spoke inside her head…

_Are we a part of something special you and me?_

Rachel covered her face with her hands in frustration as she remembered the other things that Finn had told her and which she built her hopes upon …

Beautiful words that he had spoken to her with such tender sincerity that she was foolish enough to believe that maybe, they can really start all over…

_I'd give you anything you want— EVERYTHING you want….I come with it, of course. It's a package deal…You can continue your singing and acting career but we'd be a family…You'll win your Tony's and we'll have children ... I'd like six…But I'd settle for one…_

Remembering those words now feel as if her heart was being ripped apart…

She wondered how Finn was doing now and if he was waiting… Hoping she would call and take her words back or if he is also having sleepless nights just thinking about how they parted ways when they last met…

But she's sure that she already had the answer to that question when he turned his back on her on his very own driveway…

Now, for the very first time after that fateful day the finality of his words finally hit her…

And she realized he wouldn't be waiting for her to call…

Not now…

Not ever…

Rachel felt the wetness on her cheek even before she realized that she was crying…

The pain is worst now than when they separated eight years ago because now, she believed that they were more matured and more in love and had a better fighting chance at starting all over…

To pick up where they left off and finally forget everything that has ever happened to them in the past…

But in the end, they have still ended up the same way they started…

Scared…

Battered…

Broken

And worst of all, apart…

Rachel knew that she was being a coward for not trusting Finn…

She should have realized it that night but she understood it better now…

However, she thinks that even if she did, there will always be a part of her that would always continue to doubt.

The evidence was against him…

_He sneaked out of her bed in the middle of the night and she saw Quinn in his bed with her very own eyes…_

Rachel wiped her tears away as she pasted a shaky smile on her face… Bracing her self as she looked at her reflection in the mirror and putting on a face that she normally reserves for times when she's down in the dumps and still needs to look every inch the movie star as she keep appearances like everything was alright…

"It's okay Rachel, you forgot him eight years ago and you can do it again now… Yes, you can…"

She pasted on a wobbly smile but her tears just wouldn't stop…

"Fuck Rachel… you can do this…"

She saw her reflection waver in front of her as tears continued pouring from her eyes…

She went through the motion of putting on her lipstick but her lips were trembling too much and before she knew it she was sobbing loudly…

"You can do it Rachel… GODDAMIT…"

And she saw her face crumple in the mirror before she finally gave up and cried her heart out…

She must have cried for thirty minutes before Rachel composed herself enough to wash her face and start her make up all over…

She slipped into the dress that she's going to be wearing that night and put on the high heeled shoes that she had picked out especially for tonight…

She's through crying, she promised herself…

A couple of nights ago she dreamt of standing beside Finn as they greeted the press, standing in front of the cameras holding hands and declaring to the whole world how they are engaged and that they have always been the love of each others lives…

But no more…

She wouldn't allow herself to think about him, or to remember him, or to feel anything…

She'd put him out of her mind and heart…

Permanently this time and that's where she hoped that he would stay forever…

Rachel's reverie was cut short by the incessant ringing of her doorbell…

Her forehead furrowed into an uneasy frown as she was not expecting her driver until an hour later…

Opening the door curiously, Rachel lets out a gasp of shock as she saw Quinn Fabray out on her doorstep…

It had been years since they last saw each other (not counting of course, the time she saw her in Finn's bed just a couple of days back)…

She looked older and wiser and there was a sadness in her eyes that wasn't there before as she smiled up at her shyly…

"Hello Rachel… It's been quite awhile…"

Quinn gave her an awkward smile before chewing on her bottom lip as if she was unsure of what she is supposed to do or say next now that she's in front of her…

"Is-Is now a good time? It seems like you're on your way out… Can we talk?"

Rachel stood there for awhile robbed of speech as Quinn fidgeted and played with the hem of her jacket …

Once she's come back to her senses, Rachel looked at her lifelong rival…

There was an uncertainty in her eyes as she opened her front door wider and welcomed the blonde into her home and she felt her heart beat faster as she let her in not out of fear but just because being around her reminds her too much of the past…

"I have time… Come-Come in…"

Quinn gave a little smile as she walked in and she stood uneasily in the middle of Rachel's living room before she broke the silence after a couple of seconds…

"I - I see you a lot on TV… I told you you'd make it big someday…"

Quinn said in a voice that told Rachel that she's trying her best to appear light and casual but she expelled a really long sigh right after and closed her eyes as if she's reached the end of her limit and is now done pretending …

"Dammit… this is hard… Heaven knows that I would have given my right arm to just go through my life believing that you don't exist but I - I love Finn…"

Rachel's eyes widened… Her temper flaring and her tongue itching to tell Quinn off about her first words to her after all these years but what she said next left her speechless…

"I love Finn, Rachel… No matter what you think, I really do… And I want him to be happy that's why I'm doing this and I just want to let you know that he has always loved you…"

Rachel blinked her eyes a couple of times at that…

She didn't expect Quinn to be telling her all these and she watched as Quinn gave her a wry smile…

"I've always known it… Even in high school… I don't even understand why he let you go and went back to me…"

Quinn gave a hollow, humorless laugh…

"Maybe it was need… maybe it's because by taking care of me he feels strong and he forgets that he gave you up for something so shallow but the truth is, he doesn't love me… Not the way that he loves you anyway… and I think it's time that I accept that and let him be really, really happy…"

Rachel remained staring at her…

She didn't expect this to happen and there was a part of herself that was relieved but also a part that was regretful at how foolish Finn and her have both been…

Eight years…

They've wasted too much time apart hurting each other when all these time they could have been together loving each other…

How fucking ironic…

How fucking cruel…

Quinn's confident façade seem to waver at Rachel's stoic silence…

Mistaking her quietness for one of anger rather than that of pensiveness…

"Please Rachel…That night you saw me, I ran away from home because my husband was abusive and he hit me and I had nowhere to run to that's why I called Finn… I told him to keep it a secret that's why he didn't tell you so please don't hate him for helping me… I have hated you all my life and I have done too much to hurt Finn but now I have a chance to show him how much he means to me by telling you the truth and I just wanted to take this chance…"

Suddenly, at that moment Rachel felt like they were back in sophomore year…

When Quinn was the popular girl whom she envies for having everything that she's ever wanted that it didn't even occur to her that she had something too which she's wanted all her life making her envy her in the same way…

But that was water under the bridge…

They were older now…

And wiser…

And Rachel gave her a grateful smile as tears fell unbidden from her eyes…

"You can continue to hate me Rachel… But please… Please don't hate Finn…"

Quinn said and Rachel choked back a sob at that…

"I - I can't hate him Quinn… I love him too much to hate him… Even when I felt like hating him, I still love him… I think I always will..."

Rachel whispered back in a soft voice before her head fell forward and her shoulders began to shake with more sobs…

"Oh my God… I sent him away… I should have trusted him and believed him but I sent him away…"

Quinn stared at the weeping girl who is her rival for the only boy that she's ever loved her entire life and she watched as her shoulders were wracked with sobs as she cried out her pain and anger and sorrow at the mess that she once again found herself in…

Against her will, Quinn felt herself reaching out to touch her letting out a violent oath as she patted her back and run her hands over her back in order to extend comfort…

"It's not too late Rachel… I think he is waiting for you… He had never stopped waiting…"

And Rachel lifted tear filled eyes to her before wiping her tears with her arms like a little girl and looking at her as if she was seeking for reassurance…

"You think so? "

Quinn gave a little nod and as if that was the only sign that she's been waiting for and that she needed, Rachel gets a determined glint in her eyes and a steely resolve on her face…

"I'm going to take him back Quinn… Even if I have to eat my pride, I'd take him back… and this time… this time… there is no turning back…

Quinn smiled down at her even if there was a hint of sadness in her eyes that didn't escape Rachel's notice that and felt like crying all over again, but this time for the blonde before her…

"Don't think that I'm doing this for you Berry… I still dislike you immensely but I have made Finn unhappy enough and he deserves to be happy and I know that he will only be if he is with you…"

The tender smile that the blonde was according her totally took the edge off her words and Rachel knew that she wanted to leave with her pride intact and she can't help but return her smile back praying that in time they will forget the pain that they have inflicted on each other and that perhaps there could be a chance that they can be really good friends someday…

"For what it's worth … Thank you, Quinn…"

And she took a step forward and wrapped her arms around Quinn feeling her stiffen only for a moment before she put her arms around her back and return her hug in the same way…

"Make Finn happy, Rachel…"

She whispered in a voice thick with tears…

"I will…"

Rachel whispered back…

And as Quinn dried her tears and gave her another brave smile before walking out Rachel's front door there was only a moment when she felt a sense of loss and sadness because she knew that one day, when the right man and time comes, the same kind of happiness that Finn and Rachel has at this moment will also be in her hands…

* * *

Rachel walked into the lobby of the hotel where their wrap party was being held and she wasn't certain if it was wise or crazy to try to confront Finn in the middle of it particularly when she spent the last couple of days being a diva and requesting that their last scenes together be shot separately…

Rachel bit her lip nervously as she thought that Finn could give her the cold shoulder tonight with everyone watching and she was sure that she completely deserved it…

In desperate hopes of appeasing her anger, she had spent a couple of minutes more preening before her mirror after Quinn had left to ensure that she looked her absolute best in order to lower his resistance..

She hoped that the effort she took in dressing up will give her the result that she wanted and that he would listen to whatever it is that she wanted to tell him…

With her knees trembling and her pulse pounding, she took the elevator going towards the ballroom, and there she encountered an obstacle in the last place she'd anticipated it…

Kurt was standing by the ballroom doors, took one look at her, and stepped forward, blocking her way.

"I thought you wouldn't come Rachel…"

He said coldly…

Formally…

Very unlike the Kurt who is her good friend and who have gone to all the trouble to fly back to Lima from LA just to throw a party for her so that he can match make her with his stepbrother…

"You've hurt him Rachel… You don't know how much he went through just to make up for his mistakes and to show you that he's changed…"

Rachel's heart ached to see her friend treating her like a stranger but she is also humbled by the extent of how much Kurt loves his brother that he is protecting him from pain the best way he knows how…

"I know... and that's why i am here to make amends..."

Kurt chewed on his bottom lip looking at her…

Torn between his loyalty to Finn and the pleading sincerity in Rachel's innocent hazel eyes while the roar of laughter and conversation from inside the ballroom surrounded them…

"Do you really love him, Rachel? I mean like really, really love him?"

"With all my heart… "

She said emphatically….

"Do you promise to trust him for now and for always?"

Rachel started to smile as she saw Kurt's defenses slowly weakening against her…

"I will never doubt him again… EVER…"

And with that Kurt gave a dramatic sigh before throwing his hand up in the air…

"Darn it! I'm such a sucker for romance…"

And he looked so displeased that Rachel lets out a loud laugh, knowing that at least she now has Kurt back on her side…

"Thank you… "

She threw her arms around her friend's neck before turning from side to side and batting her eyelashes…

"How do I look?"

She asked teasingly as Kurt looked on at her with a happy smile…

"Beautiful… I know you'd look just the same on your wedding day…"

He said teasingly before whispering softly…

"Go get him…"

He then raised his glass up to her and on that high note, Rachel stepped into the noisy gaiety of the ballroom….

The moment she stepped on top of the steps leading towards the ballroom, heads started to turn and conversations dropped off, then started again with renewed force, and she heard her name being repeated.

Ignoring all of that, she scanned the crowded dance floor, the stage, and then the bar at the far corner of the room… she saw no trace of Finn and in her heart she was thinking what if he already left? What if he just passed by and now, she lost the chance to see him…

Panicked and alarmed, Rachel reverted to a technique that she had relied on whenever she needed to express herself when Finn and her were still in Glee Club…

Taking a deep breath, she opened her mouth to sing a song about how she feels for him making sure that her notes were heard above the din of the noisy crowd…

_I always needed time on my own_

_I never thought I'd_

_Need you there when I cry_

_And the days feel like years when I'm alone_

_And the bed where you lied is made up on your side…_

Her heart began to hammer as she saw people stop with what they're doing…

Everyone turning around to face her in shocked curiosity…

Silence can be heard all over the room…

Taking some unspoken cue or perhaps out of courtesy, the crowd parted and there at the bottom of the stairs, staring up at her, standing a distance away from her was Finn…

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take…_

_Do you see how much I need you right now? _

At that instance, the crowd fell away from their consciousness as they stood just staring at each other drinking in each others sight…

There was such tenderness in Finn's gaze… His adams apple bobbing up and down as if he was trying his best not to cry at a song that he knew she meant for him that Rachel knew…

No matter how many times she might turn him away or he turns her away, they will always come back to each other because they were fated to be together…

To love each other as much as the other and to spend the rest of their lives with one another…

_When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you…_

_When you're gone the face I came to know are missing too…_

_When you're gone the words I need to hear to get it through the day and make it okay…_

_I miss you…_

Before she knew it, tears were falling from her eyes even if she looks at Finn with a smile as she sings…

She thought about the time that they have spent apart from each other and all the pain they went through just because they didn't trust each other enough…

_I've never felt this way before…_

_Everything that I do, reminds me of you…_

_And the clothes you left they lie on the floor…_

_They smell just like you, I love the things that you do…_

Finn stood at the bottom of the stairs… thinking how beautiful Rachel looked and how much he loved her… and how with her coming to find him, he feels such an overwhelming feeling of love for her as if he was lost and had now just come home…

_When you walk away, I count the steps that you take_

_Do you see how much I need you right now?_

When Finn remained unmoving… Rachel's voice trails off…

An unsure expression now on her face as her chest heaved with emotions as they just stood in the middle of a hushed crowd staring at each other before Finn opens his mouth and sings the part where she left off…

_When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you…_

_When you're gone the face I came to know is missing too…_

_When you're gone the words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it okay…_

_I miss you…_

She half laughed and half cried as she watched him walk slowly towards her…

His voice ringing in the huge ballroom as tears poured from her eyes at the realization that after all these years they still get chances upon chances as if fate had decided that they should spend the rest of their years only with each other in love despite the hurt that they inflicted on the other…

Despite the pain and the years spent apart…

_We were made for each other_

_Out here forever, I know we were…_

_All I ever wanted was for you to know…_

_Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul…_

_I can't hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me…_

She didn't know when it happened…

When the band took up where Finn left off after he stopped singing and now they are standing face to face looking at each other while music plays in the background their chest pressed almost closely together…

"Hi…"

He said tenderly in a reverent whisper while staring down at her…

"Hi…"

She said back softly….

And after a couple of seconds that they have spent looking at each other, savoring the moment that was happening to them, Rachel opened her mouth once again…

"I missed you… I' m sooo -"

_When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you…_

_When you're gone the face I came to know is missing too…_

_When you're gone the words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it okay…_

_I miss you…_

And even before Rachel can finish apologizing, Finn was already kissing her passionately disregarding the need for apologies and only concerned with their future and what the rest of their lives hold together…

Both of them not even taking notice of the crowd before them as they were lost in their own world….

Rachel helplessly clings on to Finn while his mouth ravaged hers and she wrapped her arms even more tightly around him as if she never wanted to let him go…

Once they broke apart, Finn rests his forehead on Rachel's…

"I'm - I'm - thinking of taking a trip…. As you can see I'm jobless again now…"

He said tenderly…

"For a vacation?"

She asked curiously…

"No… to New York…:"

Rachel looked on at him in shock…

Her heart squeezing with emotions as she felt how much he's willing to uproot himself from a town he's known all his life and make a new start in a city that was strange to him just to follow her and be with her…

She looked on at him… her voice softening to a caress…

"How- how long?

"For good… If you'd have me…"

She didn't move or speak and for a horrible moment Finn thought that he'd been wrong…

That he'd only imagined that she still cared…

And then he realized, she was holding out her hands to his…

He hesitated only for a moment before he laid his hand in her palm…

Rachel feeling his fingers engulf hers in their warm strength, closing tightly on her hand, and then abruptly yanking her forward into arms that wrapped around her once again the way that they did just a few minutes ago…

Finn turned her face up to his…

"I love you..."

There was so much love in his eyes that she feels as if she could drown in them...

"And I love you…"

Rachel whispered back…

And then he was seizing her mouth once again in a passionate kiss…

A flash exploded somewhere as a photographer raised his camera, followed by another, and another as Kurt stood from a distance watching them with a wistful smile and he started to clap…A clap that others followed suit until it became a bursting applause coming from the crowd as reporters and media jostled for space to take note of the moment, questions being shouted at them left and right…

"_Rachel… How long have you and Finn been together?"_

_"Did you know each other before the movie?"_

"_Are you engaged or getting married?"_

"_What about Jesse St. James?"_

And still the kiss went on…

Rachel didn't notice. .

She was kissing Finn back, melting against him, utterly oblivious to all of it...

Kurt…

The cheering…

The clapping…

The white flashes from raised cameras…

It had been some time but they finally have their happy ending and it might have taken a while for it to come find them but at this moment…

Right here…

All they can only think about was how well the wait has been more than worth it…


End file.
